Not only our lives, but the Gospel as well...

Book List 2012

2012-01-01T14:56:00.000-08:00

I love to read! There's no question that I'll read plenty of books in the coming year. But I thought it would be fun to make a list of titles to ensure I make time for them all, and to provide myself a little balance between genres. And if you're so inclined, you can check me out on Goodreads.

First up -- I'm desperately trying to finish Douglas Adams' The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It's a sci-fi classic, and I really like it, but with all the tiny chapters (some less than a page), it feels like I've been reading forever.

Practicing the Way of Jesus, by Mark Scandrette I've read some great reviews about this one.

Angry Conversations with God, by Susan E. Isaacs I heard Susan speak at a conference a few years ago. Honest and funny, I'm looking forward to this memoir.

All is Grace, by Brennan Manning

Love Wins, by Rob Bell, and a follow-up, Christ Alone, by Michael E. Wittmer

Practicing the Presence of God, by Brother Lawrence I've read this book before, but it's small and a classic!

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns), by Mindy Kaling I'm not a huge fan of The Office, but I read some articles that she wrote and I think Kaling is funny and has a great perspective on being a woman in Hollywood.

The Hunger Games trilogy, by Suzanne Collins I've seen this book all over the place, and hadn't planned on reading it because of some strange resistance to its immense popularity. But my roommate listened to the audiobook on her work drives and loved it. Since she so rarely recommends a book to me, I decided to trust her suggestion.

Shane, by Jack Schaefer and My Name is Asher Lev, by Chaim Potok These two are titles I missed reading in my book club last year, but they were highly recommended, so I'm going to try and swing back and pick them up.

And speaking of the book club, our first book for January is The Help by Kathryn Stockett. The rest of the Broadened Horizons reading list for 2012 can be found here, if you're interested.

I think that's a good start to my list! I'm sure I'll add some along the way, and feel free to add your own suggestions :) Happy Reading!

Oh hey blog.

2011-09-29T16:56:00.000-07:00

Oh. Hey, blog. How are you? Good? Me too. Sorry I haven't been in touch in a while. Life's been pretty crazy. Yeah. Well, it was great to see you... Have a good day!

I hate talking on the phone - particularly to old friends I haven't connected with in a while. (Sorry, friends. I love you!) I think it's for the same reason I haven't updated this poor blog in 5 months. What do you say when there's nothing interesting, exciting, hopeful, fun, or good happening in your life? 'Cause that's where I'm at.

I work part time at Starbucks, spend money irresponsibly, struggle to pay my bills, and feed my kazillion cats. I can't find a ministry job, because I've settled in a small town where all the jobs are filled. And I can't find a job doing anything else, because all I'm trained to do is be a professional Christian. And I keep thinking -- God, is this really what you had planned for me? But as they say, hindsight is 20/20. I'm sure it will all make sense once I'm out of it. I'm sure I'm learning valuable lessons in my (petty) sufferings.

I realized a few weeks ago that I've been questioning God's goodness. Not in general, like as a good being. He is more good than I can ever understand. But I'm not sure he's being good to me at this point in my life. There's nothing good in it, so how can God be doing good to me? But I guess you have to cherish the little things... The past few months at Starbucks have been unbearable and every morning is a great accomplishment just dragging myself out of bed to put on that green apron. But the past couple weeks I've had this inexplicable, unshakeable, nonstop cheerfulness as soon as I walk in the door! There's no way it's from me... Must be God after all. ;)

My head is full of meaningless information.

2011-03-09T18:36:00.000-08:00

My head is full of meaningless information. I know song lyrics and names, and I can identify musicians by the sound of their voices. I remember the titles of movies I saw more than ten years ago, and what celebrities starred in them. I have memorized hundreds of lines of dialog from my favorite tv shows. (I couldn’t sleep at all last night! Angie kept my Sharper Image White Noise Aromatherapy machine. She knows I can’t sleep without the sound of the ocean and the smell of bacon!) l can recall book plots, authors, and character names. I know that Greg Grunberg has had parts in almost everything JJ Abrams has produced. I know the names of all nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring. (Frodo, Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, Legolas, Sam, Merry, Pippin) I remember celebrity gossip and the weird things they name their children. Why do I waste my brain power on such pointless drivel? And why do I so easily remember all things entertainment related, but struggle so hard to memorize things of lasting, eternal significance?

Last week in my Bible study, we read again about the futility of idols and idol-worship. In Isaiah’s time, people actually had carved statues that they worshipped. But today’s idols are typically not physical objects, they are concepts and institutions. Although Hollywood celebrity isn’t something that I would say I struggle with idolizing, it’s amazing how easily I retain information about stuff I don’t really care about! This is what Isaiah has to say about the people’s idols:

The images that are carried about are burdensome, a burden for the weary. They stoop and bow down together; unable to rescue the burden, they themselves go off into captivity. Isaiah 46:1-2

Their idols weigh them down, and make it hard to move. In contrast, this is how God describes his relationship to his people:

I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. Isaiah 46:4

Now I’m not trying to say that memorizing meaningless facts about the entertainment industry is a bad thing. I will probably always love movies, music, magazines, and tv. But it makes me wonder why it is so easy for me to subconsciously absorb that information, and so hard to retain the truth of God! I suspect it would do great things for my peace and trust in God if I had more consistent intake of scripture. I am terrible at memorizing Bible verses. But obviously I have the mental capacity to memorize; I’m just not using it on the right things! I also sometimes find it hard to read the Bible, because I already know what it says. I know the stories, and the principles, and the who’s who. But as my pastor mentioned this morning, when we pray that God will give us fresh eyes to see his Word, he does! Different things stick out to us at different times in our lives. Scripture is alive with the power of the Holy Spirit!

Anyone want to join me on my pursuit to fill my head with truth instead of crap???

Risky Business and Me Too

2011-02-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

Last night I attended something called Gallery Night hosted by my church. I'm still at the early stages of getting involved and connected there, and attending events outside of Sunday morning is a big deal. I always get these emails about groups that are meeting and things that are happening, and I think, "Oh, that sounds so cool!" and then I chicken out and don't go. Am I the only one who does this?

Anyway, in the emails about Gallery Night, they asked for submissions from the community. They wanted submissions "from ordinary people at Exodus doing art, music, writing and anything else creative." And in a highly uncharacteristic move (seriously, I never do this), I emailed the organizer and told her I had some poems I wanted to contribute.

I love to read poetry. And yes, I occasionally write it myself. But aside from a creative writing class in high school where we were required to share our classwork, I have never let anyone else read my poems. Heck, I've never even told anyone I write poetry! Even typing the phrase "I write poetry" is ridiculous!!!!!!!

Hours could be spent psychoanalyzing my insecurities about writing. Who knows what possessed me to voluntarily contribute my poems for the Gallery Night. And then follow through by actually bringing them to the Gallery Night. And then stand around talking to people at the Gallery Night who might actually match up the name on the paper with my face! But I did. And the absolute best thing that could have happened in that whole scenario actually happened.

I met a new person in the mingling, and when I introduced myself, she asked me if I had submitted anything, because there were a few different Wendys who had brought pieces. I said yes, and identified the poems I brought. "Oh, that winter one..." she said.

"Yeah, when I showed it to my roommate she thought it was really sad."

"It was," she said, "but I definitely know the feeling."

The most comforting words a person can ever say are "Me too."

And, just for posterity, here's that poem:

I am glad

you broke my heart in winter.

I don't think I could bear

to see things growing

to hear birds chirping

to watch children playing in the sun.

Winter is cold

barren

desolate.

Frozen

like my heart.

Don't you just love spring?

2011-02-24T12:51:00.000-08:00

I know, it’s February, and not actually spring yet. But we’ve had a string of warm days here, and now I can’t seem to get to all those chores on my list, like cleaning the bathroom and stacking wood in the basement. I just have to be outside!

Spring is great for everyone and everything in the Little Yellow House. The cats are less destructive inside the house when they get to burn off all their energy outside. They chase everything --birds, frisbees, each other-- except the neighbor dog, who chases them! Thankfully there are lots of trees nearby for escape.

Last week I sat outside one afternoon and watched them play. I am an avid observer of nature in all seasons. I love to see small shadows speeding across the ground, and search the sky for hawks gliding in the summer heat. I love to see the foliage splashed with color in the fall, like an exuberant toddler was let loose with finger paints in the forest. I love to see the snow shining like glitter on the ground, and hear the frozen winter branches tapping together like morse code. And I love spring, because everything seems to begin again. I listened to the birds singing, and they seemed hesitant, like they were using tunes that had gone unsung for too long. A woodpecker circled the trunk of a tree, tapping tentatively to find a good spot. The ground is damp and waiting, and though it is still too early for flowers to begin uncurling their leaves, the buds on the trees are beginning to swell.

I am ready for spring in my heart, too. Ready for new things, and beauty, and life. Lent begins soon, and as the church calendar goes, things will get much darker before we can truly celebrate the miracle of rebirth. But I am ready.

Deaf

2011-02-22T12:36:00.000-08:00

I enjoy writing. Unfortunately, since I finished school, I seem to only write when inspiration strikes, instead of as a discipline that would develop my skills. But since what I have is all I’ve got, I might as well try to find something that works.

I know lots of bloggers schedule their posts in advance to help with the consistency and continuity of their blogging. I’ve started to do this with my poetry blog since I have only sporadic internet access. It might work here, too. What if, during my moments of inspiration, I take the time to churn out a few blog posts instead of just one, and schedule them to be posted at a later date? We’ll see how this goes.

Do you remember taking hearing tests in elementary school? I remember it being something mildly exciting for me and my young classmates. As a group, we would leave our room and file into one of the back basement hallways, and wait in line as our peers were taken in a few at a time. The room was dimly lit (Why are they always dimly lit?) and at the hearing test station, we put on a pair of giant noise-blocking headphones and were instructed to push the button every time we heard a beep. We had to hear a certain percentage of the beeps in order to pass the test, and I was always a little bit afraid that I would miss too many.

I feel like that with God sometimes. I sit there, my senses on edge, straining to hear his voice. I stretch my ears to hear a word, a whisper, some direction.

--Did you hear that?

Was that your voice, God?

...or just background noise?

I wish I had a pair of worldly-noise blocking headphones, because I can’t always hear the beeps. Sometimes they’re unmistakably loud, but sometimes I just know I’ve missed one. Sometimes what I think I've heard turns out not to be from God, and sometimes what I think I hear doesn't seem like it could be true.

How do you hear God?

Greater

2010-12-01T17:59:00.000-08:00

My Advent devotional begins with these words:

“God is that greater than which cannot be thought.” St. Anselm of Canterbury

“Think about it. We can stretch our minds as high and deep and far as our minds can stretch, and at the point of the highest, deepest, farthest stretch of our minds, we have not ‘thought’ God. There is always a thought beyond what we are able to think. ‘God is that greater than which cannot be thought.’”

God’s greatness is something that I don’t usually marvel at. Growing up, I easily accepted the complexities of faith. Occasionally in worship I am led to marvel at the majesty of God, but most often I take it for granted. In college we called them “the omnis”: God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and so on. We know all these things, and absorb them with little thought.

This past week, I’ve been struggling with some big “why” questions. Even bigger than those questions, though, I am struggling with the “how.” I have never before been struck with such paralyzing cluelessness. I have no idea what to do. I have no idea how to figure out what to do. I have no idea why these things have happened, or how I can resolve them. How do I get out? How do I go on?

I am in a women’s Bible study of Isaiah, and he has a lot to say about God’s final plans for creation and humankind. The last question this week was “In what specific ways are you waiting patiently and trustingly for God’s final work of judgment?” And as strange as it sounds, right now I am so eager for the final judgment! There is so much uncertainty, so much I don’t know how to answer or deal with. And the only relief I have is knowing someday that all will be well. All will be fulfilled. All will be peace.

When I read those words in my Advent devotional, I felt peace in the midst of my turmoil. At the outer limits of my attempts to find answers, as far and as hard as I stretch my mind to go, God is there. He is greater than anything my mind could perceive or produce. “God is that greater than which cannot be thought.”

Quote by Richard John Neuhaus, from God With Us, ed. Greg Pennoyer and Gregory Wolfe, p. 17

Would you like some tears with your coffee?

2010-06-21T09:50:00.000-07:00

I’ve been kind of miserable lately. I love being in Indiana, near my parents, and in the Little Yellow House, but I’m pretty lonely. I’m working on it, though! I came up with a few things I think will help me feel better about myself and where my life is going.

This week I will:

not eat fast food

keep the house clean(ish)

make myself dinner (no frozen pizza!)

read some poetry

take a walk

blog

research some future career options

Accomplishing all this might be tricky, because this week I’m helping out with my parents’ church VBS program. But that will be good for me too.

I Surrender All

2010-04-25T12:43:00.000-07:00

All to Jesus I surrender

Humbly at his feet I bow

Worldly pleasures all forsaken

Take me Jesus, take me now

I surrender all

All to thee my blessed Savior

I surrender all

We sang this in church today: an old-school hymn that my college students (and who knows how many other people in the congregation at my rather modern church) had never heard before. It's a great, classic song with powerful lyrics, as many of the classic hymns have. But as we were singing, I had a terrible realization: I don't surrender. And it wasn't one of those terrible/good realizations that causes us to cry out to Jesus and come closer to him -- oh, no. I was annoyed! I haven't surrendered all recently, I don't want to, and I would rather you not bring it up, thank you very much! I hate it when Jesus calls me out.

All these thoughts were flitting across my brain while we were singing, and I just kept singing because I love singing. But then I decided something: I have to keep singing. No matter where my heart is, I will keep singing. I'm not surrendering to Jesus, but I know I should, and deep down in my heart I want to surrender, so I will keep singing. I'll keep singing 'til it's true.

I bow

2010-04-12T09:04:00.000-07:00

I bow at the feet of Jesus.

I am broken and unworthy. I am a sinner who does not learn from her mistakes; I stumble over the same hurdles repeatedly.

I bow at the feet of Jesus, who takes my broken pieces and fits them back together the way he designed them to go. He brushes of the dirt and dust as if it were never there. He heals me over and over again, and each time he does it as if it is the first time, because he has forgotten every one before.

I bow at the feet of Jesus, who takes my broken, dirty pieces and uses them for his glory.

What's up with you?

pre-Lenten Reflections

2010-02-10T18:07:00.000-08:00

At the last Staff Seminar training I was at for my campus ministry job, I bought a book called Living the Christian Year: Time to Inhabit the Story of God by Bobby Gross. As is my custom, I had more books than I could read at one time, and never got around to reading past the foreword. It's arranged, naturally, by the Christian year, and every time I thought about beginning it we were in the middle of a season. But Lent begins next week with Ash Wednesday, and today I had some extra time to sit down and read through that section.

The traditional 40-day period of Lent reflects long biblical fasts by the likes of Moses, Elijah, and Jesus. Catholics typically give up meat during Lent, but in my Protestant upbringing, people abstained from a variety of things including chocolate, pop, sex, gossip, coffee, ice cream, etc. Thinking about what I might give up this year left me feeling shallow, because what could I possibly give up that would compare to the sacrifice that Jesus made for me? But Gross's notes helped me to remember the benefits that humbly choosing sacrifice during Lent can have.

We adopt practices that help to sharpen our spiritual awareness. Through prayer and Scripture meditation, moral inventory and behavior changes, fasting/abstinence, and generosity/service, we open ourselves up to receive God's grace and blessing.

I also liked the idea that during Lent, we revisit the declarations we made during our baptism: we renounce satan and all evil powers and sinful desires, we trust in the grace of Jesus Christ our Savior, and we follow him as Lord.

(summarized from p. 128)

How can I put those ideas into practice? My roommate and I decided to do "Frugal February," a month where we cut out all unnecessary shopping and basically only buy gas and groceries. I think I'll continue that through the end of Lent as a part of my fast. I've begun reading through John, so I'll focus on that during Lent in addition to any other reading I might do. I'm also considering doing a day-long juice fast on Ash Wednesday, Fridays during Lent, and Maundy Thursday through Easter Sunday. And I hope that through that process, I will be able to reaffirm the declarations from my baptism: I renounce satan and all evil powers and sinful desires, I trust in the grace of Jesus Christ my Savior, and I follow him as my risen Lord!

The $5 Savings Plan

2010-02-02T17:32:00.000-08:00

I'm really horrible with money. What I mean by that is, I'm horrible at managing/saving money. I'm pretty good at the spending part. (What can I say, I love to shop!) But with a big move and a new house creeping closer every day, I'm starting to feel the pressure to save.

Let me introduce you to the only plan that I have found so far in my short life that is actually effective for me:

The $5 Savings Plan

It's pretty simple. Are you ready??

I read in a magazine once that if you take every 5-dollar bill that comes into your possession and put it in a jar/box/bag/under the mattress, it adds up to a nice sum within about 6 months.

So that is what I have been doing. Since I got back from Christmas, I've taken all the change and every $5 bill in my wallet and put it in a big jar. The effectiveness of this system naturally depends on how much of a cash flow one has, but since I get cash tips from Starbucks every week, I always have something to contribute. I realize that I won't be using this for the down payment for a house or anything big, but it's there for emergencies and, hopefully, for some splurges for the new house (which you can read about here!).

There are a few reasons why I think this system works for me:

(one) I'm particularly motivated to save money for this house project, because I'm really excited about it!

(two) It's become a fun challenge to see how much money I can put in there each week.

(three) The jar I'm using is transparent, and it's fun to see the bills and change piling up.

(four) The jar also has a really small neck, so if I was ever tempted to take money out of the jar, I would have to dump three pounds of change on the floor and then pull the bills out with tweezers.

I know it's not the best savings system in the world. I'm not earning interest or protecting my assets. But it works for now, and it works for me!

I love to cook!

2010-02-01T17:24:00.000-08:00

Tonight for dinner, we had:

Lemon Pepper Chicken

Crash Hot Potatoes from here

side salad that I learned to make from this awesome book

and for dessert:

Pear Apple Cranberry Crisp from here

Yum!

ALSO... This is my new favorite blog person, Color me Katie. So fun and sweet!

inspiration

2010-01-15T08:46:00.000-08:00

I saw this video today, over at High Calling Blogs.

Inspiring, no?

Hiding

2009-12-03T20:42:00.000-08:00

I have been living in Pittsburgh for 3 and a half years now, but I feel it's important to tell people as often as I can that my heart is still in Indiana. (Chances are, if you know me and you're reading this, then you already knew that.) My hometown is the most beautiful place I know, and I love being with my family. Trips home are not frequent, but I cherish them even more because of that. I am so excited for my trip home this Christmas that I have already bought and wrapped most of my gifts! When I'm at home, I really prefer to spend most of my time on the farm. I hate going out shopping, to the grocery stores, and I sometimes even feel weird about going to church. I'm always afraid I'm going to run into someone I know.

I don't like running into people from my "past life." Teachers I had in elementary school, or people I went to high school with -- meetings with them are always awkward, and if I have the opportunity I'll usually pretend that I didn't see them and walk the other way.

Tonight, I was looking through pictures of my brother's girlfriend, who I will meet for the first time at Christmas (alright, call it Facebook stalking if you must), and I realized that I'm both excited about and dreading meeting her.

In May, after four great years living in Pittsburgh, I'll be moving back to Indiana! This great news makes my heart sing! But, I know that once I'm living there, I won't be able to hide on the farm all the time. Eventually I will run into people from my "past life" -- and I am terrified.

My great joy at being back in a place I dearly love is being overshadowed by what I now recognize as embarrassment. I don't like the person I've become. I don't want to meet my brother's lovely girlfriend because I am sure that I won't measure up. I don't want to run into people who knew me in high school or college because I know how they will react: "Well, she's not doing very well..."

I'm afraid that the people I meet will judge me the same way that I judge myself. I'm nothing like the person that I hope to be:: I've gained a lot of weight. I'm introverted and don't like talking to people. I don't put people at ease. I'm not a good networker. I am not a spiritual person. I've not been successful with my career. I have no direction for my life. I earn a crappy wage for a part-time job. I'm awkward in conversation. I am not kind.

I could continue that list for pages. And I could set myself a regimen of healthy eating, exercise, prayer and scripture, soul-searching, generosity, and socializing for the next six months. But I know I wouldn't stick with it and it would be just another thing that I failed to finish.

The chasm between who I am and who I want to be is immense. In the face of such a huge discrepancy, I feel like it will be easier for me to dig myself a hole over here and keep hiding.

Thankful

2009-11-26T07:06:00.000-08:00

I am thankful:

--that my mom is healthy.

--for my dad's dedication.

--for furry friends to make me smile.

--for my brother's enthusiasm.

--that I found my soul-sister.

--for God's providence and faithfulness.

--that I have a job, a house, and a car.

--for this little yellow house.

What are you thankful for today?

Fooood...

2009-11-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

Finished:

pecan pie

apple pie

mashed potatoes

cranberry sauce

To-Do Today:

whiskey-glazed carrots

gluten free stuffing

Let the feasting begin!

Six Things on Sunday

2009-11-22T09:52:00.001-08:00

It's been a while... Just a few things that have been bubbling around in my head recently!

1. I'm working part-time at Starbucks. And yes, I really do like it! I like knowing all about the coffees and teas we have, helping customers pick what they want, making people smile when I remember their drinks. But it takes a special kind of attitude for me to be polite when others aren't, to take direction, and juggle 27 different tasks at once!

2. One of the unfortunate parts of working at Starbucks is that I have to work on Sunday mornings, and can only get to church every other Sunday. My soul starves when I don't have the blessing of a community to lift me up and bring me back into intimacy with God.

3. My small group just started a four-week study called the Advent Conspiracy. My favorite bookseller blogged about it here, and you can check out the website here. The four themes are worship fully, spend less, give more, and love all.

4. I've been rereading a lot of old science fiction books that my uncle got me hooked on when I was in high school. Part of me feels like a dork for reading books about dragons and telekinetic powers (different series)... but I also just love the stories.

5. Switchfoot's new album, Hello Hurricane, is fabulous. My favorite lyrics of the moment are from "Mess of Me." I've made a mess of me / I wanna get back the rest of me / I wanna spend the rest of my life alive / I've made a mess of me / I wanna reverse this tragedy / I wanna spend the rest of my life alive

6. Rabbits make great pets!

Music makes me cry sometimes

2009-09-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

On my way home from work a few days ago, I heard Phil Wickham's song "Divine Romance." It's on one of my current favorite mix cd's, and it is absolutely beautiful. Despite my familiarity with songs, I can be powerfully affected by a particular one multiple times, depending on my mood and the atmosphere. I'll be honest -- I've cried listening to "Divine Romance" before. Most often, when I am emotionally moved by music, I am worshipping. But the other day, I realized that I was crying because none of the words I was singing were true. I cried because my prayers were not full, rich, or bright, and neither was my life. I cried for everything lacking in my life, and everything I wished that I was.

I suppose in some sense, my tears that day were worship. Only in our emptiness do we realize how much we need filled.

The fullness of your grace is here with me

The richness of your beauty's all I see

The brightness of your glory has arrived

In your presence God, I'm completely satisfied

A prayer for a new semester

2009-08-25T07:37:00.000-07:00

A month ago, I got a surprise package in the mail - a thoughtful gift from a good friend. It was a Celtic Daily Prayer book from a religious community in Scotland. They say it takes a month to form a habit, so I've been taking advantage of the extra time I have from only working part-time and trying to set a habit to use it every day. Yesterday morning I didn't know what day it was, and accidentally read too far. So this morning, instead of reading the same thing two days in a row, I skimmed through the book at some of the other sections not used in the daily prayer.

I stumbled on this one, and wanted to share. I thought it was appropriate since a new semester at the college started yesterday. (It's meant to be used in a group, with the sections in bold spoken in unison.)

Prayers for committing our work to God

This day is Your gift to me;

I take it, Lord, from Your hand

and thank You for the wonder of it.

God be with me

in this Your day,

every day

and every way,

with me and for me

in this Your day;

and the love

and affection

of heaven

be toward me.

All that I am, Lord,

I place into your hands.

All that I do, Lord,

I place into your hands.

Everything I work for

I place into your hands.

Everything I hope for

I place into your hands.

The troubles that weary me

I place into your hands.

The thoughts that disturb me

I place into your hands.

Each that I pray for

I place into your hands.

Each that I care for

I place into your hands.

I place into Your hands, Lord,

the choices that I face.

Guard me from choosing

the way perilous

of which the end is heart-pain

and the secret tear.

Rich in counsel,

show us the way

that is plain and safe.

May I feel Your presence

at the heart of my desire,

and so know it for Your desire for me.

Thus shall I prosper,

thus see that my purpose is from You,

thus have the power to do the good which endures.

Show me what blessing it is

that I have work to do.

And sometimes,

and most of all

when the day is overcast

and my courage faints,

let me hear Your voice, saying,

'You are my beloved one

in whom I am well pleased.'

Stand at the crossroads and look,

ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is,

and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls.

In the name of Christ we stand,

and in His name

move out across the land

in fearfulness and blessing.

To gather the Kingdom to the King

and claim this land for God:

a task indeed.

Give us to see Your will,

and power to walk in its path;

and lo! the night is routed and gone.

Lord, hasten the day

when those who fear You in every nation

will come from the east and west,

from north and south,

and sit at table in Your Kingdom.

And, Lord,

let Your glory be seen in our land.

He has shown you, O man, what is right;

and what does the Lord require of you,

but to do justly, and to love mercy

and to walk humbly with your God?

Keep me close to You, Lord.

Keep me close to You.

I lift my hands to You, Lord.

I lift them up to You.

Hands, Lord, Your gift to us,

we stretch them up to You.

Always You hold them.

Help me to find my happiness

in my acceptance

of what is Your purpose for me:

in friendly eyes, in work well done,

in quietness born of trust,

and, most of all,

in the awareness of Your presence

in my spirit.

A Productive Saturday

2009-08-22T12:59:00.001-07:00

Done today:

shredded 6 cups of zucchini

canned 4 quarts of dill pickles

canned 3 jars of dilled green beans

AND I cleaned up the giant mess that came with it!

It's my first try canning real pickles/vegetables. Last year I did refrigerator pickles and applesauce. I'm really hoping everything works! Everything is in really random amounts because I honestly had no idea how many cucumbers would fit in each jar. I had five jars, but one broke while it was in the waterbath. And the green beans were small because I wasn't sure I would like them.

I think canning and preserving your own food is really cool... I just know that there's a lot I don't know about it! I'm thinking that next year I will try to recruit my mom to help :) Gotta pass on the wisdom of the years!

What is your "Julie & Julia"?

2009-08-18T22:42:00.000-07:00

Good movies, like good books, are the ones that inspire you. When the movie is over and the lights come up, they leave you full of energy and hope and motivation -- whether you are inspired to go and do something new, or to go and be someone new.

I just finished watching a movie called Julie & Julia. It's based on a book of the same name that I haven't read, so I don't know if it is formatted the same way that the movie is. I could write a bad synopsis for you, but it is late and I don't have the mind for it just now. If you haven't heard of it, go Google it and I'm sure you will be enthralled. I certainly was.

I left the movie theater with a huge smile on my face. I wanted to go watch reruns of Julia Child's cooking show, buy her book Mastering the Art of French Cooking, wear skirts and heels and pearls the next time I make dinner, buy Julie Powell's memoir Julie & Julia, make myself an apron, wear it to cook a fabulous 3-course meal, and blog about it. Just because someone's done it already doesn't mean I shouldn't do it, too, for my own gratification!

Whether or not I will do all, or just a few of those things, I would really like to know what my "thing" is. Maybe it's cooking, maybe it's not -- either way is fine with me, as long as I have something. What is that "thing" that I love to do, that pulls me out of dark times, gives me passion and direction, that I am determined to master, no matter how many times I fail before I get it right? For Julie Powell, it was cooking. But what is it for me? What is it for you?

Spiritual Lessons from Gardening

2009-07-25T18:05:00.000-07:00

I've spent a lot of time in my garden the past few days. I was gone last week, and while it was in okay shape when I left, when I returned, the weeds had begun a full-scale attack to take back the tiny square of land. It was rewarding to discover some beautiful cucumbers hiding underneath all the weeds!

Usually when I'm out in the garden, or anytime I am left alone with my thoughts, I end up not really thinking anything at all, just repeating a bit of a song in my head over and over. This weekend was the same, until I started noticing this one weed's growing patterns. The little green leaves were very easy to pull up, but I hardly ever managed to get the root clusters up with them (which is what you want when you're pulling weeds in a garden). Eventually I figured out that this particular weed was sending long root fingers out under the ground, popping up lots and lots of these little green leaves and taking over a massive amount of space in a short amount of time. When I was able to get a hold of the roots, they were incredibly thin but incredibly long, and no matter how much I pulled up there were still more to find! By this point I was pretty annoyed, and I had moved this particular weed to the top of my kill list -- until I realized that the majority of the weeds in my garden were propagating themselves this way! They send out lots of little fingers in every direction to ensure that even if you think that you've gotten the main root cluster and the plant will die, the tiniest leaf shoots survive and the pest lives on.

As I was crouching in my garden, getting really angry at these little plants, I realized that this is probably exactly how sin works for the devil. When we're off our guard, not paying attention to our spiritual condition, he manages to sink some really big sins (weeds) in us that continually reproduce, sending out their little roots into every area of our lives. When we recognize the sin and our need for forgiveness and restoration, we yank up loads of the tiny little sins and think that we've gotten a handle on the problem -- but we missed the big root of the problem. Or, we attack the main sin, easiest to spot, without realizing how far into our lives the tentacles have spread.

Why is it that it's so easy for the weeds to survive, but the good things that we want to grow in our lives (like basil and tomatoes... or patience and love) take so much more work?

imported...

2009-07-25T17:28:00.000-07:00

I decided having 3 blogs to keep track of was silly, so I just deleted my crafty blog and imported the posts here.

The Poetry Index is still alive and kicking!

I'm Incapable

2009-07-22T19:05:00.000-07:00

Last week's youth conference was a mixed bag of emotions for me. The conference was amazing: well planned timing, a wide variety of activities, the right amount of scheduled and unscheduled time, broad musical tastes, a very spiritual emphasis, etc. For at least a couple months, I had been feeling very depressed and out of touch with God, and CHIC was a great catalyst to bringing me back into his presence. But, as any youth leader will tell you, conferences are incredibly draining, physically and emotionally.

I was the only leader for 8 high school girls, six of whom were members of the church. It's kind of an expensive conference, but it's also only every 3 years, so it gives churches a chance to do lots of fundraising. The church paid for almost all of the girls (and my) fees. Because of this, I felt a lot of pressure to make sure that the girls "got" something out of CHIC. It's a really fun event, but it's also designed to be a deep event. Naturally, a high school kid's first inclination is to just focus on the fun part and brush over the rest of it.

The first night of mainstage worship, half of the girls remained seated the entire time, even though the 5,000 other people in the auditorium were on their feet with their hands raised in praise. I was really offended by this, and afraid that it was a sign of what the rest of the week had in store. Regardless of the pressure I felt from the church, as the girls' youth leader, I wanted to make sure that they "got" it, too! I said something to them later, about engaging the real reason why CHIC existed -- to bring them closer to God. The rest of the week, I kept emphasizing that they needed to engage in the seminars and speakers so that God could speak to them. But the second night of worship, I had a realization. Even if I forced them to their feet, made them raise their hands in praise and bend their knees in prayer, if I made them answer questions after every seminar and write down what they learned, they still might not learn anything from the experience. Despite my best efforts, it was still possible that they would leave CHIC thinking about the fun they had and the cute boys they met. The only person who had any influence over what they "got" out of the conference was God. It was out of my hands.

After we got home, the Sunday morning church service was devoted to us sharing with the congregation about CHIC. All the girls were to share at least a little bit about what they had experienced. I was pretty apprehensive -- I had only spoken with one of the girls about what she had experienced with God during the week. The rest of them were wildcards.

Thankfully, naturally, God had been working while I was worrying. All 8 girls shared some great things about what they had enjoyed and what they had experienced at CHIC -- everything from awareness about human trafficking to a new sense of identity and purpose in God. Had I two months to prepare, I could not have given a better speech than they did. Afterwards, one of the parents complimented me on how the service had gone. I answered, "I had nothing to do with it. It was all God."

I heard these words from a Caedmon's Call song a few days after we got back:

I'm so thankful that I'm incapable

of doing any good on my own

Amen.

Fully alive and she knows, how to believe in futures.

2009-07-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

I'm at a conference with 8 high school girls from my church. It's been an exhausting week, but more about that later. Right now I'm at our evening mainstage session where all 5,000 people have gathered to hear a band, a speaker, and worhip together. Tonight's featured band is Flyleaf, a hardcore screamo band (they happen to be very strong Christians, which is why they're here). I wanted to share with you a scene I just watched.

So like I said, Flyleaf is a pretty hardcore band, and people at their concerts get really serious (and dangerous) in the mosh pits. A few minutes ago Lacy, the lead singer, took a minute to tell all the kids moshing in the front to make sure they take care of each other while they were down there. She told the boys to be gentlemen and made sure no one needed to get out of the pits. I'm glad she said that, because I've been down front at concerts much tamer than this one and they are crazy. But, having been around these kids for three days now, I didn't think it would do much good. A few minutes later, though, I saw a group of four boys making their way from the front back to their seats in the stadium. Three of them were obviously escorting the fourth because he had been hurt in some way. When they got back to their seats I saw him motion to their leaders that he had been hit in the head.

Watching that little scene really touched my heart. This has been a long week for me, because I just can't comprehend how kids can be so cruel to each other, so hurtful and abusive and crazy. But seeing those boys take care of each other made me realize that there is still good in the world, that love is still out there in the hearts of kids.

Tension is a passing note...

2009-07-06T21:03:00.000-07:00

I've been depressed lately.

There. I said it. Now it's out there for (theoretically) the whole world to see. No longer is it just an excuse in my head or a word I fling at my roommate while I am in tears because of some miniscule thing she did wrong.

I'm not exactly sure how I got into this hole, and I am clueless about how to climb out. I just keep looking up towards the sky. Sometimes it's beautiful and blue, and I stare at it with longing. Sometimes it's cloudy and gray, and I'm happy to wallow in my inexplicable sorrow. I can never tell if the top of the hole is getting closer, or if I just keep sinking down farther. When I try to grasp for the rope to pull myself out, I can never find it. I am alone.

I heard this song by Sixpence None the Richer tonight while shuffling through my iPod.

Do I murder when I forget you from afar?

Too drunk on the poison of endless roads and the countless smoky bars.

But tension is to be loved when it is like a passing note

To a beautiful, beautiful chord.

Then, this song by Matt Wertz came on right after.

I will not take my love away

When praises cease and seasons change

And the whole world turns the other way

I will not take my love away

I will not leave you all alone

When striving leads you far from home

And there's no yield for what you've sown

I will not leave you all alone

I will give you what you need

In plenty or in poverty

Forever, always look to me

I will give you what you need

I'm trying to remember -- this will pass, and God will keep his promises.

(I have a video I took of Matt singing this song at a concert in February but YouTube is down for maintenance right now -- I'll try to upload it tomorrow.)

Slowly Growing...

2009-06-16T21:07:00.000-07:00

A long-overdue update of my neglected blog, about... my neglected garden.

After being inspired by my friend's pictures of her baby plants, I decided to go record the growth of my little plot.

It's had a bit of a rough start... I started a kazillion seeds indoors in early May, but unfortunately didn't read my seed books close enough. That part about hardening off seeds by setting them outside in the sun a few hours at a time until they can stand to be planted in full sun? That's important.

Most of what I planted from seed has kicked the bucket, but a few things are hanging on. You can see evidence of sun scorching on my tomato and pepper seedlings.

The spinach and lettuce I planted from seed straight into the ground, and it's doing quite well.

All the herbs were completely fried, though, so I went to the nursery and picked up some plants - basil, dill, parsley, and cilantro. When I went to plant the cilantro, though, look what I found still hanging on strong: if these little guys hang on through the summer, I will consider my garden a success!

Summer Reading List

2009-06-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen

How Starbucks Saved My Life, Michael Gates Gill

Treasuring God in our Traditions, Noel Piper

Organizing Your Day, Sandra Felton & Marsha Sims

Flirting With Monasticism, Karen E. Sloan

Catching Life By The Throat, Josephine Hart

Reordered Lives, Reordered Loves, David K. Naugle

New Books!

2009-04-30T13:29:00.000-07:00

I just got the May/June issue of Relevant Magazine in the mail, and the first thing I flipped to was their 2009 Summer Reading Guide. As always, they offered some great new books! Here are the ones I'll be adding to my ever-growing reading list:

Angry Conversations with God: A Snarky but Authentic Spiritual Memoir by Susan E. Isaacs I've heard about this book before, and I'm drawn to the idea of someone who writes about God with something other than the happy-go-lucky, Jesus-changed-my-life attitude. Here's a quote from her in the blurb from the magazine: "I often felt a huge burden of regret over the mistakes I made, the time I wasted in my life; but it also gave me fresh gratitude for God that He got me through all of that. Writing was like a sacrament. I was honoring God by telling the truth about my life. I was honoring Him."

The Selected Works of T.S. Spivet by Reif Larson This novel about a 12-year old genius cartographer who wins a prestigious Smithsonian scholarship (they don't know he's in middle school) and train-hops across the country sounds delightful and endearing. It includes the boy's diagrams and illustrations of things like "Maps of People Doing Things" and "Freight Train as a Sound Sandwich." (That's not a very good review. Check out the one in Relevant or go read the book yourself.)

Made From Scratch: Discovering the Pleasures of a Handmade Life by Jenna Wogenrich My propensity for anything handmade and/or eco-friendly immediately drew me to this book. It's part narrative, part handbook on the hows and whys of independent, sustainable living.

Endpoint by John Updike The only impression I have of John Updike is from reading one of his short stories in a high school english class -- I didn't like it at all. But Relevant's review of his new, posthumously published collection of poems and the excerpt they included may convince me to rethink my opinion. Plus I've been on a poetry kick lately...

Requiem

by John Updike

It came to me the other day:

Were I to die, no one would say,

"Oh, what a shame! So young, so full

Of promise--depths unplumbable!"

Instead, a shrug and tearless eyes

Will greet my overdue demise;

The wide response will be, I know,

"I thought he died a while ago.:

For life's a shabby subterfuge,

And death is real, and dark, and huge.

The shock of it will register

Nowhere but where it will occur.

Other Things

2009-04-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the long delay between postings! Recently, my attention has been elsewhere in the blog world - I've got two new things for you to look at!

The first is my crafty/homemaker blog. It has existed for six months or so, but I am unfortunately very slow at posting things there. But spring has brought new activities, including a garden! Check out the first phases of the garden project 2009 here: http://anti-homemaker.blogspot.com

The next is a new blog that I started at the beginning of this month. April is National Poetry Month, as I've told you before, and that has gotten me back on my poetry kick. I like being able to use poetry in my writing and teaching, but I usually can't find the right poem that I need when I need it! The new blog is called Poems I Love: The Poetry Index, and it's half to share great poems with other people, and half for me to be able to find the poems I want when I need them! You can check out the first month's postings here: http://poetryindex.blogspot.com

Go visit, leave comments, add them to your Google Reader or RSS feeds. And have a happy day!

Garden, Phase 2

2009-04-20T07:56:00.000-07:00

Phase 2 of the garden called for busting out the hoes and rakes! Once the grass had been turned under and left to decompose for a week, it was time to work the dirt into some kind of manageably fine, plantable substance.

Here's E and J working the dirt:

Up in the woods on my friend's property, there is an old cement pool that was used about 100 years ago. Today, it is just collecting leaves and trash from over the years, but as we discovered, years and years of rotting leaves = the richest black dirt I have ever seen! While the girls were hoeing and raking, I shoveled up buckets of dirt from the pool and carried them back to the garden to mix in with the dirt.

You can see the difference in the soil here - the outsides have been raked and had the dirt/compost added, while the middle is still dry and pale-looking.

We also planted the first of the cold-loving plants! Onions and cabbage have taken up residence in our little garden, and I am so proud! I know deer don't eat onions, but as long as they don't trample them I will be happy! (Also, onions and cabbage weren't originally planned... my list keeps growing!) Happy gardening!

Easter magic

2009-04-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

by Leslie Leyland Fields

Had we crucified the rabbit--

yanked him from his fields of grass

and staked him out by paws and tender feet

to quiver, twitch and die in agony

of innocence,

and then, in three days' time,

had seen him hop up from the tomb

unscathed

but for the wounded paws and feet we felt--

then maybe now we'd talk of Christ,

pass his story down from child to child

and only faintly hint at silly myths of

wicker baskets,

chocolate eggs,

treasures hidden in the field

and some trick hare who died

then somehow disappeared.

Garden, Phase 1

2009-04-11T07:40:00.000-07:00

Well, today the girls and I got out and started digging! Starting a garden plot from scratch is going to be more work than I originally thought, since we don't have the benefit of a roto-tiller. But we are buff, tough girls, and we will kick this gardening thing in the pants! We picked a 13x13 plot in the middle of a field in order to get as much sun as possible. According to my dad, the first step is to turn over the grass with shovels... Here are some pics of us working hard and getting dirty!

plot marked, time to start digging!

down to the last few shovelfuls!

it is finished!

(believe it or not, I actually DID do my share of the digging, I was just the one taking the pictures! :)

National Poetry Month

2009-04-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

I just read (via Twitter) that April is National Poetry month! I love poetry but don't read it as much as I wished... The same could be said of my reading, music, sports, etc...

Anyway, since I now know that there is a whole month devoted to poetry lovers, I'm planning to make an effort to read more poems, at least for this month, and share them with you occasionally. To start, here's one of my all-time favorites by Irish author Seamus Heaney.

Digging

Between my finger and my thumb

The squat pen rests; snug as a gun.

Under my window, a clean rasping sound

When the spade sinks into gravelly ground:

My father, digging. I look down

Till his straining rump among the flowerbeds

Bends low, comes up twenty years away

Stooping in rhythm through potato drills

Where he was digging.

The coarse boot nestled on the lug, the shaft

Against the inside knee was levered firmly.

He rooted out tall tops, buried the bright edge deep

To scatter new potatoes that we picked,

Loving their cool hardness in our hands.

By God, the old man could handle a spade.

Just like his old man.

My grandfather cut more turf in a day

Than any other man on Toner's bog.

Once I carried him milk in a bottle

Corked sloppily with paper. He straightened up

To drink it, then fell to right away

Nicking and slicing neatly, heaving sods

Over his shoulder, going down and down

For the good turf. Digging.

The cold smell of potato mould, the squelch and slap

Of soggy peat, the curt cuts of an edge

Through living roots awaken in my head.

But I've no spade to follow men like them.

Between my finger and my thumb

The squat pen rests.

I'll dig with it.

Garden, pre-planning

2009-04-01T07:26:00.000-07:00

My childhood home was located in the country, and we lived next door to my grandparents. Every summer, in between our two houses, they and my parents planted a huge garden to share between the six of us, and other aunts and uncles when we had a bumper crop. My summer chores most often included weeding and picking veggies from the garden (strawberries were the worst!).

The place I'm living now doesn't have any room for a real garden, and last summer I planted lots of things in pots. But this summer, a friend of mine who has some extra space around his house, has offered to let me plant a REAL garden! I don't really know what I'm doing, and the process will probably include a lot of calling home to my parents to find out how to do certain things. But as long as I can keep the deer from eating everything I plant, I think I'll be in good shape!

I started by going to the garden shop and buying WAY too many seeds, stuff to start the plants indoors, and making charts and lists. I keep telling myself not to go too big, and not to go overboard and grow so many things that I can't eat them! But I don't really think I succeeded... Regardless this will be a fun experiment!

2009 Garden Plants

HERBS:

parsley

lavender

oregano

cilantro

chives

dill

basil

spearmint

stevia

VEGGIES:

beefsteak tomatoes

cherry tomatoes

cucumbers

pickling cucumbers

eggplant

sweet corn

zucchini squash

yellow squash

red/green peppers

purple/red peppers

jalapeno peppers

hot peppers mix

lettuce

spinach

FLOWERS:

poppy

zinnia

Start Small

2009-03-20T20:49:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling in a "funk" lately. I realize that "funk" is a very ambiguous word, but for lack of a better one I'm sticking with it. I've been unmotivated and lazy, and depressed about how unmotivated and lazy I am. Even on my days off, when I'm allowed to relax and be unproductive, I end the day thinking about what a waste it was.

Spring break was last week, and I went on a mission trip with La Roche College students to do reconstruction work in New Orleans, LA. I'm sure I was in my funk for at least a month before the trip, but last week was fantastic! I love going on trips and spending extended time with people, getting to know about their lives, investing and serving and living. I like using power tools and learning new skills, and helping other people do the same. Even though the bathroom situation was inconvenient (there was only one, and we had to switch between males and females every half hour!), I like brushing my teeth and blowdrying my hair next to someone else. I like mission trips simply for the fun of it.

But this trip helped me to rediscover something that I've been missing for a while. One of the results, or perhaps one of the causes of my funk was that I was feeling very down about my ministries, both with the youth group and at La Roche. I haven't felt good at my job; I've felt unsuccessful and burned out. Last week I felt good again -- I was engaging students, helping them make connections, asking good questions, challenging people and not letting them settle for easy answers... I rediscovered my passion for college students last week. I got some wonderful encouragement from some of the other adults on the trip, too, which was like icing on the cake.

We've been home for almost a week now, though, and today I could start to feel the funk creeping back in. How do I keep it at bay?

We had some students over for dinner tonight, and after dinner we dyed Easter eggs. After they left, the kitchen was covered with dirty dishes, newspaper, and traces of egg dye. I am not a terribly neat person -- my usual reaction would be to leave the mess for the morning, when it would get left until later, which would get left until the next day, until the next day becomes an impossible mess. But for some reason tonight, instead of leaving it all for "later," I just started cleaning. I loaded the dishwasher, threw away the trash, put the leftovers in the refrigerator, washed the dishes, folded up the newspaper, took the extra leaf out of the table, wiped off the counters... And I feel good!

I'm starting to realize how much the different areas of my life affect each other. I've been talking about this for years -- the CCO idea of zero dualisms, that our faith impacts all areas of our lives. But it goes both ways. God speaks into the ways I drive and eat, and how messy my room is affects my spiritual wellbeing (albeit indirectly). For now, I'm pledging to do the small things - cleaning my dishes instead of piling them next to the sink, putting dirty clothes in the hamper instead of leaving them where I dropped them, leaving five minutes early for a meeting so that I'm not stressed by heavy traffic, wearing sunglasses, and having fresh flowers in the house. And little by little I think I'll rediscover the things I've been missing for so long.

Stars!

2009-02-09T19:26:00.000-08:00

I found these great picture frames on clearance at Bed, Bath and Beyond a couple months ago. They're practically deep enough for shadow boxes! Definitely good for some 3-d art. I saw the idea for these pictures on someone else's blog, but unfortunately I've lost the link. If you happen to have seen it out there in the blogosphere, let me know!

Am I in Tune?

2009-02-07T20:17:00.000-08:00

Tonight, our girls Bible study met and shared a wonderful meal and an even better discussion! (Sidenote: I love having international friends. The food is so good!!) As a discussion starter, we watched one of Rob Bell's Nooma dvds*. The one we chose was called Rhythm, and in it Bell uses music as a metaphor for God: He is the melody, and the question we ask ourselves is "Am I in tune?"

For a while now, I've been feeling like my life isn't in tune with God, though before tonight I wouldn't have phrased it quite like that. I wouldn't say that I am playing a dissonant chord, or that I'm just slightly out of tune. I think the problem is that I've stopped hearing God's melody, and have fallen silent. And my half-hearted attempts to find the melody again aren't working.

Here's a quote from the film:

For many people, their concept of God is built around a God who is outside of everything, a God who essentially is somewhere else, a God who made the world but then stands back and watches it form this other vantage point, a God who's there, and then from time to time comes here.

When I heard those words, I realized that lately I have been operating under the assumption that God is outside of this world and occasionally pops his head in to give some direction or judgement or mercy. What's strange, though, is that I don't actually believe that. I believe that God is present and active in this world, not just in flashy periodic displays of his greatness, but also in small details of our lives. God is everywhere, but for some reason I've been ignoring him. I see God every day, but I haven't been seeing him.

I asked the girls what kinds of things they do to help remind themselves of God's presence and his love for us during those times when we feel distant and unattached, when we can't hear the melody. What I realized helps me in my darker times is seeing people who are passionately in love with God, whether it be through watching a Nooma film, reading a book, or talking with a dear friend. When I see other people who are in tune with God's great melody, it reminds me of the song I want to be playing. It refreshes my mind and heart, and I remember the things that I strive for in my relationship with God. It's like the muscle memory we have for riding a bicycle. No matter how long it's been, we can always hop on and start pedaling again.

*Nooma dvds are short (10 minute) films about a variety of Christian themes.

Wipe Away Tears

2009-01-25T13:21:00.000-08:00

At my CCO Staff Seminar this week, our speaker referenced a passage from Revelation that really stuck out to me. He was talking about multiculturalism, and actually used a much longer portion of Revelation 7 to talk about why we should be engaging in multi-ethnic relationships and ministries now (the reason: because Heaven will be one big multi-ethnic party!).

But this is what John learns about what happens to those who come out of the great tribulation:

They are before the throne of God
and serve him day and night in his temple;
and he who sits on the throne will spread his tent over them.
Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;
he will lead them to springs of living water.
And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes.
(Revelation 7:15-17)

There are lots of different ways to describe the work of a campus minister, or to describe people in ministry in general. These are some that we use at the CCO: transforming college students to transform the world. the CCO partners with churches, colleges, and other organizations to develop men and women who live out their Christian faith in every area of life. our core values: all things belong to God; Jesus changes people's lives; we love college students; faithfulness is pursued together; we celebrate life.

As our speaker was reading through the Revelation passage, he paused when he got to the last line. "You know," he said, "that would be a pretty good job description for a campus minister. 'What do you do?' I wipe away tears."

As I have reflected on his words the past few days, I've decided that I wholeheartedly agree with that statement. We see so many broken, hurting people in the world every day. We could choose to become depressed about it, or become cynical about our fellow mankind. We could embrace the darkness. We could wear ourselves ragged trying to heal all the broken people. Or, as John learns in Revelation, we could partner with God and begin wiping away people's tears. We do not have all the answers, and we cannot fix all the problems. The world will remain a broken place until Jesus Christ returns to earth. But little by little, one cheek at a time, we can begin to offer God's peace to the broken hearts all around us, and wipe the tears from their eyes.

A Word of Advice for Youth Leaders:

2009-01-11T18:13:00.000-08:00

Do not leave your cell phones laying around for kids to pick up.

Instead of spending time telling them about Jesus, let them play with your new laptop:

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T20:47:00.000-08:00

My roommate and I happen to celebrate our birthdays just two weeks apart. Being born in May, we were both always the youngest in our classes at school, and so she takes great pleasure in the fact that she is older than me. It is apparently a good month for having babies, as we've discovered that many of our friends also share May birthdays. (In November we all celebrated our half-birthdays together with ... a half birthday cake!)

2009 also happens to be a "milestone" year for many in my life. E and I are turning 25, and other friends are turning 21, 30, and 35. Perhaps because people of like minds gravitate towards each other, or perhaps just because of a beautiful coincidence, a lot of these friends (myself included) are expressing a kind of dissatisfaction with life at this point. E.g., "I never imagined that at 25, or at 30, or 35, that I still wouldn't have done this with my life."

All the discussions with different friends eventually led to the creation of my "25 for 25" list: 25 goals I hope to accomplish for my 25th birthday. Credit for the list idea goes to E's coworker who is turning 35 this year and created such a list for herself. My list isn't actually complete, and will probably be a work in progress until my birthday in May. E, however, has already finished hers and is planning to implement it as her New Year's Resolutions. I'll probably start working towards my goals as I come up with them.

I'm still processing the purpose of having such a list, though. (Trying to figure out the goal for my goals, if you will. :) Some goals concern character traits I'm trying to improve. Some are an attempt to move my life and career. And some are just because I want to be able to say that I've done them.

Yesterday I watched a movie called Serenity. Towards the end of the movie, the characters discover the results of a government experiment to try and create a perfect, peaceful society. They put a chemical into the air that reduced anger and aggression. The chemical worked, but eventually the people became so calm and relaxed that they stopped doing anything. They stopped working, eating, moving... and eventually they just stopped living.

Somewhere, someone will always believe that you can make people better. But as the crew of Serenity found out, it doesn't work. You cannot make better people in one broad sweep. But when people decide to make themselves better, when people decide for themselves to change, then the world becomes a little bit brighter. Light comes to the world one candle at a time, one person at a time, one goal at a time.

(Or 25 at a time.)

Indiana for Christmas

2008-12-17T07:49:00.000-08:00

In a few days, I will be heading home for Christmas. I can't tell you how excited I am! Well, I could tell you, but it would be several lines full of reeeally, reeeally, reeeally... excited. :) In my opinion, southern Indiana is the perfect place to be for Christmas. I may be a little biased, though...

I was listening to a new Christmas cd the other day, and a new song caught my ear. I don't know who wrote it, but the version I was listening to was performed by Straight No Chaser, an acapella group from Indiana University. It's called Indiana Christmas, and I know it's overly sentimental, but "that's where I'm going, where Christmas will always be real."

The moonlight shines on the sycamores
Now they are calling to me
In the city it's snowing, the sidewalks glowing
But there's somewhere I'd rather be

Thousands of people all walking by
Somehow I'm still alone
I'm gonna spend winter my way
Get on the highway
I'm ready to find the way home

Indiana
That's where I'm going
This time of year
You know how I feel
Indiana
That's where I'm going
Where Christmas will always be real

We'll build up a fire, tell a story or two
With good friends we always invite
The old and young come together as one
And we sing into the night

Indiana
That's where I'm going
This time of year
You know how I feel
Indiana
That's where I'm going
Where Christmas will always be real

And I remember those who are gone
Looking down on my home from above
Deep in December it's where I belong
Sharing the days with the ones who i love

Indiana
Indiana

Where Christmas will always be real

The moonlight shines on the sycamores
And now they are calling to me

Advent Preparations

2008-12-01T06:34:00.000-08:00

I love that the church calendar is designed with seasons like Lent and Advent, to give us long periods of time to remember why we celebrate and prepare our hearts. More than once I have experienced a feeling of surprise and embarrassment while sitting in church on Christmas Eve or Easter Sunday -- It's here? It's time for this? I'm not ready! I need more time!

Advent is designed to help me avoid that feeling, thank goodness! Yesterday marked the beginning of four weeks set aside to help us prepare for Christmas -- not the decorating, baking, gift-buying part of Christmas, but for the spiritual part of Christmas. And we need, or rather I need, every bit of that four weeks to get myself prepared.

But how do you prepare for wonder? How do you prepare yourself for something so illogical, so unreasonable? God is, as St. Anselm of Canterbury said, that greater than which cannot be thought. If we stretch our minds to the farthest edges of its capacity, we still have not even begun to consider God. And God incarnate, God in the flesh? That is even more incomprehensible!

But maybe it's okay for us to be confused and blown away by Christmas. Maybe our amazement at the impossible really gets at the purpose of Advent. Madeline L'Engle's poem, "After Annunciation," captures this idea:

This is the irrational season
When love blooms bright and wild.
Had Mary been filled with reason
There'd have been no room for the child.

Thank goodness for the "irrational season." Thank goodness we don't have to be able to fully explain and understand the incarnation in order to be blown away by it. Thank goodness for wonder.

Sidenote: If you enjoy poetry, or Advent, or both, you should check out this blog: Advent in Poetry. Charlie Lowell of the band Jars of Clay will be posting a daily poem throughout the Advent season. He says this about his project:
"My hope for this blog is that it might be a simple way to reflect on this season of Advent- that is, the days of waiting, anticipating Christmas. More specifically- the Coming of Jesus, Emmanuel, God-Finally-With-Us. I always have this funny internal struggle with the month of December; I want (and need) to slow down and reflect, but there's just so much to do (and buy)! It ends up being the busiest month of the year, much to my dismay. Certainly the intent of Advent has been diluted over the years. I've found poetry to be a great "tool" in slowing down and looking at things a little differently. Sort of like a prayer, sort of like a song, it really can open up windows for us, if we let it. That's what I hope can happen here."
Check it out!

early Christmas

2008-11-17T09:03:00.000-08:00

Winter has finally arrived in Pittsburgh! I can't say I was exactly looking forward to it, but I do enjoy the contrast of the four seasons. The snow outside my window, the Christmas cards I'm making, and the earlier and earlier arrival of holiday stuff in stores has me really excited about Christmas!

The thing is... I am a strict "no Christmas anything before Thanksgiving" girl. But I've been bombarded by my surroundings; everything screams "Christmas"!

Without going in to a discussion about how commercialism and materialism has destroyed Christmas, the thing that makes me most sad about such an early Christmas is that we miss some important things in the days leading up to December 25th. I started seeing Christmas stuff in stores before Halloween. Ridiculous. And sad. November 1 is All Saints' Day, when we remember the dear souls who have departed. And November 27 is, of course, Thanksgiving -- a time when we give thanks for all the blessings in our lives.

I'm going to keep fighting the "early Christmas" attitude. Because I am blessed.

A Thanksgiving Prayer
by Samuel F. Pugh

"O God, when I have food,
help me to remember the hungry;
When I have work,
help me to remember the jobless;
When I have a home,
help me to remember those who have no home at all;
When I am without pain,
help me to remember those who suffer,
And remembering,
help me to destroy my complacency;
bestir my compassion,
and be concerned enough to help;
By word and deed,
those who cry out for what we take for granted.
Amen."

happy faces part 2

2008-11-04T21:12:00.000-08:00

I'm almost finished with Elizabeth Gilbert's wildly popular book eat pray love. Tonight I read a passage that reminded me about what I wrote a few days ago. Here it is for you:

As I focus on diligent joy, I also keep remembering a simple idea my friend Darcey told me once - that all the sorrow and trouble of this world is caused by unhappy people. Not only in the big global Hitler-'n'-Stalin picture, but also on the smallest personal level. Even in my own life, I can see exactly where my episodes of unhappiness have brought suffering or distress or (at the very least) inconvenience to those around me. The search for contentment is, therefore, not merely a self-preserving and self-benefiting act, but also a generous gift to the world. Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else. Only then are you free to serve and enjoy other people. (p. 260)

In being willing to open ourselves up and admit that we are not always the happy people that we project to all around us, we take the first step in healing ourselves. Our great God who created us in his image wants us to rejoice in this fact: we are his, he loves us, and he wants us to be happy! Only then, as Gilbert says, are we free to serve and enjoy others.

happy faces

2008-11-02T14:32:00.000-08:00

I was listening to a song on my way in tonight, and these are the lyrics I heard:

In the girl there's a room
In the room there's a table
On the table there's a candle
and it won't burn out

In the woman there's a song
In the the song there is hope
in the hope revolution

I believe I've blogged about this song before, with a different attitude. Today my spirit is heavy. I'm the girl, and the candle on the table in my room has gone out. I'm the woman, but I cannot sing.

Over the years I have become adept at putting on a happy face and doing what needs to be done, no matter what I am feeling. I have become so good at this, in fact, that I actually become my happy face. The pain and struggles and burdens that I feel are forgotten out of necessity -- things must be done, and I must be the one to do them. There is no time, no room for pain. But when the aching sorrow catches up with me, it hurts even more because I've forgotten about it while I was busy being the happy face.

In a few minutes, the kids will arrive for youth group, and the happy face will settle back into her face, masking my true heart from everyone -- including myself.

Why I Love My Alma Mater

2008-10-20T06:57:00.000-07:00

or, Everything I Needed to Know About the Church I Learned at Taylor University.

I love Taylor University!

The four years I spent there were the best four years of my life thus far. I learned so much about what it means to be in community, about my faith, about responsibility. I learned about myself. And as far as the education I received, it was excellent. I don't want to have the elitist attitude about my university that some people I know have about their schools; it is possible to get a quality education anywhere a student is willing to apply him- or herself. But still... I would recommend Taylor University to EVERYONE.

One of my professors is now studying for his doctorate at Duke, and keeps a blog titled Church Leadership Conversations. He recently wrote an article for a Taylor publication and has posted it there. It's called Everything I Need to Know About the Church I Learned at Taylor University, and the link directly to the article is above.

He puts it much more eloquently than I would be able to, so please, if you're interested, go read the article. It's not long, and is actually a good descriptor of what any good Christian community should strive to be.

Pickles!

2008-10-03T10:38:00.000-07:00

I'm planning to make another batch of pickles and pesto today, and I want to try making dilled green beans too. Gotta work fast to get the rest of the fall bounty!

Yummy Dinner

2008-09-30T16:14:00.000-07:00

Got a lot of fresh vegetables? Have I got a recipe for you! I love it because it's quick and flexible. Basically, you just take whatever veggies (and meat if you want it) and simmer them together.

Begin warming some broth over medium-high heat. (I used one can of chicken broth, and one can of vegetable broth because that's what I had on hand.)
If you're using meat, you should probably pre-cook it before adding it to the broth. (I used pre-cooked chicken sausage, so I just added it here while it was cold.)
Add the harder veggies early so they have time to soften. (e.g. carrots, celery, green beans if you like 'em soft. My roommate and I disagreed on this point.)
Cook those for a while before adding other veggies. (I used zucchini, onion, and corn.)
If you're adding potatoes, those should go in early with the meat and carrots. However, if you forget to put them in early (like I did), you can always microwave them for a few minutes to soften them and add them with the rest of the veggies.
Add salt, pepper, and any other seasonings you would like.
Toss in some chopped parsley before serving!

Ten on Tuesday

2008-09-23T23:59:00.000-07:00

Well, I am blatantly stealing a great idea from my new friend Rebecca and her corner of the blogosphere: Ten on Tuesday. Basically... I tell you ten random things that have been happening in my life recently! I suppose it could also be Five on Friday, or Six on Sunday... but since today's Tuesday, and I want to start today, but I don't want to do two, or twelve, or twenty... I think ten is just right. :)

1. My favorite thing about the Halloween season is candy corn and mellowcreme pumpkins. Mmmm, pure sugar! A close second on the Halloween-favorites list is dressing up. I haven't actually dressed up for Halloween in quite a few years, because I like to spread it out through the whole year. (Although since I'm a "grown-up" now, I sort of do my dressing up through really cool fashion accessories. Anyway.) I have an entire storage box filled with all manner of dress-up items. In college, my roommate and I used to dress up randomly and run around the halls distracting people from studying. Ah, those were the days...

2. Tuesdays are looooooong days for me. I'm going to have to get typing if I'm going to actually get this post in on Tuesday! I didn't get home until 11:20pm tonight.

3. Over the weekend, I (finally) made pickles and pesto! It took me a few tries to finally get all the materials that I needed (you can read about it here), but I got it all accomplished! As a result, the kitchen is a mess and I am putting off cleaning it. Give me another day or so and I will post pictures from the pickle-making up on my other blog. I didn't take any pictures of the pesto-making, but I have another batch of basil that's ready to be chopped, so I'll do more soon.

4. I've been noticing a trend lately in the movies I'm watching. I was going to do a whole blog post about it, but I never got around to it, so I'll give you a synopsis here. The trend I'm noticing is that people are watching - and loving - movies with morals. Even coming from a Christian background, Hollywood has such skill in entertainment that I find myself wanting the characters in movies and tv shows to get their happy endings rather than do the "right" thing. But there are a few filmmakers out there who are gradually turning the tides. For instance, if you haven't seen Bella, Once, or Waitress, to name a few... go watch them. Now.

5. Nectarines are my new favorite fruit. Especially locally grown nectarines that I get from the local CSA. I ate one today, and I swear it was better than Cherry Vanilla ice cream.

6. The sermon on Sunday was really great. Sometimes I'm so distracted thinking about youth group or Sunday school, or who I need to talk to after the service, that I don't spend much time paying attention to the sermon. (True confessions... don't tell my pastor!) Last week he started a sermon series based on Phillip Yancey's book What's So Amazing About Grace? and I was really impacted by this week's message. The text was from Hebrews 12:14-15.

Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

I realized that in some of the significant relationships in my life, I haven't been showing much grace lately, which has some interesting implications. As Pastor John said, the deeper our appreciation for God's grace in our own lives, the more we are able to offer his grace to others. So if I'm having trouble giving grace to the people who are closest to me, what does that say about my relationship with God lately? Hmm...

7. Yikes! I'm only on number 7 and I have five minutes left to post this! Better write less per number.

8. My newest favorite way to waste time on the internet? Etsy. What's that? Etsy. It's like eBay / Amazon for crafty people! Everything on the whole stinkin' site is handmade by someone just like you and me. And let me tell you, there is some awesome stuff out there! Plus lots of people on Etsy are into the "green" thing and use lots of recycled or "upcycled" (new term for me) materials in their crafts. Check it out!

9. Speaking of ways to waste time... Today I revisited one of my guilty college pleasures: Snood. It's a horrible, horrible, time-sucking computer game. Don't play it. It will drag you in.

10. It's 11:59! I'll be better next week.

Projects on Hold

2008-09-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

Lately it seems that everything I try to do has to get put on hold because I'm missing some essential ingredient for the project. We have a membership to a CSA, and every week when I go to pick out delicious home-grown fruits and veggies, I jealously eye the pickling cucumbers. Finally I decided to just go for it, and ordered some spice mixes to make your own refrigerator pickles! I was so excited that I rushed out to the CSA to pick up my cucumbers... and they didn't have any! Extreme disappointment. Never fear, I thought, I'll just buy some at a roadside stand. Before I did that, though, I realized that I'll need some place to put the pickles! At the moment I only have about half a dozen canning jars, and they're mostly being used to store craft things. So I set out yesterday to buy canning jars at the hardware store. First I went to Home Depot. No luck. Try WalMart, they said. Instead, I tried Lowes. And Target. Both void of any kind of canning products. So I went to WalMart. After wandering around the store for about a half hour, I finally broke down and asked someone where they would be. "Across from the Jewelery Counter," she said, "...if we have any left." I rushed over to find three lone canners, lots of pickling lime and salt, and no canning jars of any kind or size. Perhaps I shouldn't wait until the end of the growing season to start these things.

Still in the mood to "make" something, I decided to look up a recipe to make pesto, since I have a basil plant that is going crazy and I can't come up with enough things to make with it. And of course, wouldn't you know it, a main ingredient in pesto is pine nuts. Who just has pine nuts randomly laying around the house? Not me.

So today I'm going to try a different WalMart. I won't give up on you, pickles!

There was a bonus side note to all the running around looking for canning jars yesterday. While at Home Depot, I picked up a handful of paint samples!!! Those things always get me excited. So much possibility...

In the meantime, here are a couple cute magnets I made the other day. Enjoy!

Big Cat. Small Box.

2008-09-09T09:14:00.000-07:00

In my new home, I have a cat (really someone else's cat).

This cat is inexplicably and irresistibly attracted to all forms of paper bags and cardboard boxes.

If you leave one laying around the house, he will undoubtedly find it, and climb inside.

Even if it's way too small.

Time for a little SALSA!

2008-09-04T19:56:00.000-07:00

(I mean the eating kind, not the dancing kind!)

As you know, I and the roommate recently moved. We are now long-term housesitting (8 months or more) for a family in my church. Along with their lovely, globally decorated house, we also got a big yard with lots of space for my potted plants (and an actual HOSE to water them with instead of carting jugs of water from the kitchen!), a garage (only one car so we take turns), and a dog and a cat. Polly the dog is a whole story all by herself, but the cat Eanie Moe (who I usually just call "cat") has a delightful attraction to all kinds of bags and boxes, and he climbs in them and hangs out whenever he has the opportunity.

(You can't tell in this picture, but he's also quite cross-eyed! I don't know how the poor thing sees to walk.)

Anyway! On to the salsa. (And hopefully, an end to my over-use of parentheses in the above paragraph.)

ANOTHER great thing that we inherited by moving into this house was a CSA co-op membership! The family purchased a membership for the whole summer, so that even though they're gone now, we still get to go pick up a load of fresh produce once a week!!! Yum. Since there were four of them, and now there are only two of us, though, it means that we have LOTS of extra stuff. This week I decided to make some fresh salsa. Here's the recipe: (out of a Rachael Ray magazine, tweaked by me!)
Salsa Fresca
1 c packed cilantro
2 cloves garlic
1/2 onion
1 jalapeno chile
2 1/2 lbs. ripe tomatoes
juice of 1 lime
salt

Basically, you just pulse together the first 5 ingredients in a food processor and then season with the lime juice and salt. I ended up using extra garlic (I like garlic!) and because I didn't have a jalapeno, I used 2 banana and 1 poblano peppers. I think making fresh salsa is all about tasting as you go, and making it work for you! Mine turned out quite yummy, AND I have enough tomatoes and peppers left to make another batch since I'll probably eat all this one in about a day!

Next week's produce pick-up day, I'm going to make PICKLES!!! Mmmmm...

New home!

2008-08-23T20:00:00.000-07:00

Well, hello to you all from a pet-hair-covered recliner in "my" new house! I say "my" in quotes because it's not really my house, I'm just taking care of it for someone else while they're gone. The apartment is mostly empty, our furniture is in storage, and I now have wireless internet access at home!
It's late and I have to get up early tomorrow for church and the youth group kickoff. I'll say more about back-to-school later!

Moving...

2008-08-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

I apologize for the long delay in posts. I'm in the process of moving -- almost done!-- and I also work with junior high, high school, and college students, so this time of year is extra busy. The balcony garden is soon to be a container garden in someone's yard! I figure it's the next step in working my way to an actual garden. My plants are coming along quite well. I FINALLY had some green peppers take, and they're lovely and green, about the size of ping-pong balls now. And I have a lovely tiny eggplant, too! I'll post some pictures soon.

Have you tried cold-brew coffee?

2008-07-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

I have!

One of my fantasy futures involves owning a coffeeshop / used bookstore, and I've recently become obsessed with all manner of teas and coffees. I love any form of tea, but coffee has taken some getting used to. At this point, I can only drink "frou-frou" coffee; i.e. lattes and mochas with lots of syrup and milk. My roommate likes the stuff, but she's recently suffered from some acid reflux and hasn't been drinking coffee much lately.

In my frenzy of coffee and tea research, I was interested to read that cold-brewed coffee has a much lower acidity than the traditionally brewed kind, and that many people with stomach problems have no problems drinking it. So, I decided to give it a whirl.

Most online recipes for cold-brewed coffee use a whole pound of coffee, but since it was my first time I didn't want to waste a whole pound if we didn't like it. I found a good article and recipe from the NY Times for only a few cups, and gave it a whirl!

It's amazingly easy, and takes no time at all to prepare. You just dump some medium-ground coffee into water... and wait. Most sources recommend at least 12 hours of brewing to allow the maximum flavor to develop. Some suggest up to 24 hours! For my small batch, I used 2/3 cup coffee and 3 cups of water.

After the steeping, the straining takes a bit more of a time investment. I used a sieve first, to get out the majority of the coffee-grounds sludge. Then I strained it through a regular coffee filter to remove the leftover silt, which takes a while! I only used one coffee filter for the small batch (3 cups), but I think it would have gone quicker if I had replaced it with a fresh one halfway through.

Here's a picture of all the silt the coffee filter pulled out:

After you've finished straining the coffee, it's ready to drink! Because granulated sugar doesn't dissolve well in cold drinks, I made some sugar syrup to use with my iced coffee (1:1 ratio of sugar and water, boil until dissolved, and cool.). Add some milk or cream and enjoy!

My roommate said it was great and immediately demanded that I make another batch for the next morning. Coming right up! (In 12 hours...)

Student Leadership

2008-07-23T17:04:00.001-07:00

August 2008 marks the start of my third year as a campus minister at La Roche college. At this time two years ago, I remember being really excited and really apprehensive about what I had gotten myself into! Last fall, I was energized by knowing what to expect and what kinds of things were going to happen that year. This year, I’m even more excited to find out what God has planned for His students at La Roche!

As a part of our Tuesday night fellowship group, we have a team of student leaders, who I have talked about before with you. The effectiveness and success of the team has been hit or miss the past two years. This fall, we are introducing a restructured student leadership team that empowers students to lead in their own areas of giftedness.

Many of the students we know are leaders in other places on campus, but who consider their faith an important thing to preserve and cultivate. Instead of pressuring shy students to stand up and make announcements at our meetings, or asking an overcommitted student to send out a weekly email, we plan to approach students on an individual basis and ask them what they are interested in doing for Nine.Thirty.Seven Fellowship Group. We are anticipating student-created positions for everything from making announcements and running PowerPoint to prayer and hospitality. It is our prayer that this new approach will be more beneficial to the students and to the fellowship group. Please pray that God will prepare the students’ hearts for leadership this year.

Further Adventures in Preserving Herbs

2008-07-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

After doing all the research I told you about in the previous post, I decided to try my hand at all three of the different methods of preserving herbs! Admittedly, I don't have that many plants to preserve, and so I don't know how worthy my efforts are. But it's fun trying!

As I said before, I have two different types of basil on the balcony: sweet basil, and summerlong basil. The sweet basil leaves are broad and glossy, dark green. Those I decided would be best suited for freezing. I don't have too many leaves yet, so I only picked half a dozen to freeze. I figure I can just keep picking them as they grow through the summer.

The summerlong basil, my other variety, has much smaller leaves and has branched out a bit more than the sweet basil. So those, I decided to dry. I know the material that I posted before recommended basil for freezing because of the high moisture content, but the differences in my two varieties made me think that the summerlong would be okay for drying. We shall see! I have two bundles of three branches each, and they're currently hanging in my closet. But I realized as I was hanging them up that I have no idea how long it will take for them to dry sufficiently! If they're not done in a month when I move, I suppose I'll just take them with me!

Since I'm growing everything in pots, and I grew many of them from seed, I put too many seeds in each pot because I was afraid some of them wouldn't grow. After they started growing, I thinned them out a bit, but I have a feeling they're still too close together. There were four individual plants in my summerlong basil pot, which I know is too many! One poor plant was dwarfed and hidden under/behind the other three, so I decided to just pull the whole thing up to give the other three more room to grow. Those leaves were too tiny to really do anything with -- except freezing them in ice cubes! It took me a while to tear all the itty-bitty leaves off, but I think the ice cube route will be ideal for them. (In the picture, three of the cubes are filled with water and the other three are waiting.)

Preserving Herbs

2008-07-14T07:54:00.000-07:00

My research lead me to two different possibilities for preserving the herbs I'm growing on the balcony this summer. The traditional method is by drying herbs, which you can do in a variety of ways. The method with the quickest and best results is by using a food dehydrator, which circulates air through trays. A quick search on Craigslist found 3 different dehydrators for sale in my area, all under $20. However, since I am still living a fairly transient lifestyle (moving in a month, actually!), I don't think I'm going to rush out and buy a dehydrator. I remember my mom buying one when I was younger, determined to use it to create healthy, tasty snacks for us kids. I think she only used it a few times, and it sat gathering dust in a cupboard before a kitchen renovation sent it on its way. Since you can achieve satisfactory results without buying any special equipment, I plan to try drying them by hanging them.

Gather the herbs on their stems and strip the leaves off the bottom inch or two. Remove any dead or damaged leaves. Group the stems in small bunches and tie or rubber band them together. Then, hang the bundles upside down in a warm, dry place with lots of space between bundles to make sure the air circulates. Check on them periodically, because as the herbs dry the stems shrink, and you may need to re-tie the bundles so that none of your branches fall out. Another option for drying, if you have the space, is to lay the branches out on horizontal window screens (elevated so the air circulates). You will still need to rotate the stems periodically.

One of the main problem areas in preserving herbs is that they mold and rot before they dry. This happens when there is too much moisture in the herbs or on the outside of the herbs. When you harvest them, if they are clean, do not wet them. If they are dirty or dusty, rinse them under water, and shake or pat off excess water. Take the time to dry the stems off completely to prevent mold.

The success of your drying depends also on the types of herbs you are preserving. The method above works best for thin-leafed and delicate herbs such as Bay, Dill, Marjoram, Oregano, Rosemary, Summer Savory, or Thyme. However, herbs with thicker, more moisture-retaining leaves can also be frozen. Freezing herbs retains the same flavor that drying does, however, they won't be suitable for garnish, only for cooking. Freezing is recommended for things like Basil, Chives, Mint, Tarragon, Parsley, Fennel, or Chervil. Remove the stems, chop if you wish, or leave the leaves whole. Lay the dried herbs out in a single layer on cookie sheets or trays and place in the freezer. Once the herbs have completely frozen, place them in containers and store in the freezer. You can also freeze individual portions of herbs by making ice cubes out of them. Prepare your herbs by removing the stems and chopping, and then pack them into ice cube trays. Cover with water and freeze. When frozen, remove the cubes from the trays and store in freezer bags. When cooking with them, you can toss the whole ice cube right into the pot! A few sites I looked at recommended blanching the herbs before freezing to help retain color and flavor.

I found lots of good resources for preserving herbs. Much of the information above came from these sites! Please visit them for further reading and information.
Harvesting and Preserving Herbs for the Home Gardener
How to Preserve Herbs

Growing, growing...

2008-07-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

Well, the "garden" continues to grow and grow! Earlier in the summer, I planted 11 different varieties of vegetables, herbs, and flowers from seed. Only three of them didn't make it past the seedling stage, which I consider a very good ratio for my first time growing vegetables and herbs! Joining those plants out on our little balcony are some houseplants (who are very happy to be outdoors!) and a few more plants from my roommate's mom, who works at a garden shop. Our pot total is at 24 healthy, green (and pink and purple and yellow), growing things. I had no idea that growing things would bring me so much joy! When I saw the first tiny green tomatoes, I literally jumped up and down in excitement and screamed for my roommate to come look! The biggest one, pictured above, is about the size of a marble right now, but still growing.

I also discovered, thanks to my morning glory, that I have a strong attraction to vining/climbing plants. It's so cool that it just wraps itself around and around, stretching its tendrils out to anything it can get its little green fingers on! My mother for some reason decided to knock my excitement down a few notches by telling me that the reason the morning glory grew so large so quickly is that it's really a weed. Well, weed or not, I think it's cool! I'm still waiting for it to flower, though...

As for the vegetables in my little balcony garden, we still haven't actually tasted any of the fruits of my labor! The tomatoes are the closest, since I can actually see the fruit. I'm still waiting for the green peppers, eggplant, and celery to come to maturity. But my herbs have been doing remarkably well! My favorite is the basil, of which I have two varieties: sweet basil and summer-long basil. The sweet basil looks more like what you would buy in the produce section at the grocery store, with broad dark-green leaves. The summer-long basil has many more leaves per plant, but they're smaller, narrow, and more pointy than the sweet basil. I've used both in my cooking so far, but haven't decided if I prefer the flavor of one over the other.

I still have to do a little research for my gardening... My success thus far has been due to luck and not skill or knowledge! I've heard something about needing to tie celery, I still can't see any sign of fruiting or flowering on the eggplant, and I'm really hoping to be able to dry or preserve my herbs! Thank goodness for the World Wide Web! I'll let you know what I know when I know it! And if anyone has any tips or suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them! Happy gardening.

Share your life.

2008-07-08T08:10:00.000-07:00

When I first began working in this position as a campus minister and a youth director, I have a couple passages of Scripture that I adopted as my "theme" verses, words that would communicate and inform what I do. It was over two years ago that I printed the verses out on neon-colored cardstock and stapled them to my bulletin board. They're still there, and although the edges are being covered bit-by-bit with mementos from my work, those words still mean something to me. One of them was so important that it became the title of my newsletter, and the tagline for this very blog.

And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses, entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others. 2 Timothy 2:2
We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God, but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. 1 Thessalonians 2:8

Unfortunately, though, I have a tendency to get caught up in other things and forget the reasons that I was called into ministry in the first place. During those times, it seems that God is always there to give me a little nudge (sometimes it's more like a shove!) to remind me why I do what I do. I was just sending out some thank-you notes to supporters, and here is a part of what I wrote:
I love that I have the opportunity to spend time with these youth and college students. I am continually impressed with the urgency of sharing Christ's love with these young people! Thank you for making it possible for me to do so.
I do love that I get the chance to spend time with these youth and college students. But I should be doing more than just hanging out -- I should be sharing my life! That is what I've been called here to do! I'm too protective of "my" time. There are so many things that I do on "my" time that would be perfect opportunities to share Christ's love with students. I have too great a responsibility, as Christ's chosen minister, to be selfish with my time. Sharing the Gospel is easy. Sharing the Gospel with my life... Now that's something.

Coming Soon: Consistency

2008-07-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

When I was in college, and blogging had just begun to be trendy, I posted practically every day. Much of what I was blogging about was silly and pointless, but I was amazingly consistent. (Anything to avoid studying!) Now that I'm in the "real world" with a real job, it is incredibly hard to keep up with the online world. However, I suspect that my blogging inconsistencies have less to do with my job than it does with my sporadic internet access. I don't have a connection at home, so my only web-surfing time happens when I am at my office, or when I have my laptop out at a coffee shop (my portable office). I will be moving in mid-August, though, and will have wireless at home, so hopefully I'll be back on track!

Periodically, I question the purpose of blogging. I enjoy writing and journaling, although I don't do it as regularly as I would like. But why do I feel the need to post my writing on the Web for all the world (theoretically) to read? I have a bound journal that I write and draw in, and the things that I put in there are completely different than the things that I post online. And, to top it off, I'm not sure that anyone actually reads this blog! I wish they would, and am working on how to get people interested in reading what I write. I'm guessing that consistency is a key!

Happy Fourth of July!

About the Anti-Homemaker

2008-06-20T07:57:00.000-07:00

What is a homemaker? You probably know at least one of these women, possibly you know several. Just think Martha Stewart.
Fifty or a hundred years ago, every woman you met would know how to do at least a minimum amount of crafty, homemaker tasks. But today, only the rare woman enjoys activities like sewing, baking, knitting, painting, cross-stitching, crocheting, embroidering... (One exception: scrapbooking.)
As a young woman who relishes her independence, I find great joy in being able to do anything that a man could do. (Riding a motorcycle, changing my oil, driving a stick shift, lifting heavy boxes.) But, much to my consternation, I also find great joy in the typical "female" arts like cooking and baking, sewing, gardening, painting, and crafting.
So, while I resist being labeled as a homemaker, a homemaker is what I am. I hope you enjoy my adventures as the Anti-Homemaker!

Home

2008-06-13T20:17:00.000-07:00

I miss Indiana. I took a walk tonight, around the driveway, through my grandma's gardens, and down to the barn. It was so refreshing to feel the cool breeze and hear the crickets chirping. As I walked, trying to distinguish shapes in the dark, it was so good to see beds full of flowers and neat rows of vegetables instead of the scrawny potted plants I'm trying to grow at home. A few brave lightning bugs dotted the open fields and I heard the heavy breaths and soft lowing of the cattle in the barns. The familiar scents of damp hay, animals, and mud were highlighted by sweet wild mint, and as I turned to trace the silhouettes of trees against the sky, I felt a great sense of peace. It seems to me that even the rainy sky is more beautiful here.

It has been so good to be here with my mom. After so many years of her caring for me, it's good to be able to return the favor in some small way. I was so frightened when I first learned about my mom's cancer. I wasn't sure that I would be able to handle the thought of her, the strongest woman I know, lying pale in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of her every which way. And there were even scarier thoughts, the horrible "what-ifs" that come in the darkest moments. But God is good, and her cancer was contained. What amazing people the Kingdom of God contains! What wonderful faith and encouragement, what prayer warriors! We are never alone, praise the Lord for that.

Confirmation Sunday

2008-05-18T19:45:00.000-07:00

This morning nine 7th and 8th graders were confirmed at my church. I'm not their parents, and I didn't even help out with the confirmation class. But I felt such a swelling of parental pride in those kids as they stood up there and recited the Apostle's Creed and gave their testimonies. How amazing that in the early formative years of their development, nine teenagers would be confident and secure enough in the saving grace of Jesus Christ that they would stand up in front of a gathering and declare their faith in him! Awesome.

Spring Institute

2008-05-17T15:45:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow begins the CCO's Spring Institute. I'll be gone for a week with all the other campus ministry staff, for training and organizational life stuff and fellowship. I'm looking forward to some parts of the week, and not looking forward to other parts.
I LOVE the CCO as an organization. I think that they have great training, great support for their employees, great driving principles, great leadership. I love the concept of contextual ministry, and the passion that we all have for transforming college students. I love hanging out with CCO folks! They are some of the funniest, most creative people I know. (I guess that comes with the territory -- people who do relational ministry know how to relate to each other!) I think that there is just the right balance of teaching/training and fellowship time in all of our training events.
I do feel like a bit of an outcast within the social system of the CCO, though. It is a funny coincidence that my two best friends from the organization left staff after the first year. Four of my five roommates at our staff training events (including the two mentioned above) have left staff. I'm starting to think that I'm bad luck! All joking aside, though, the CCO is an organization filled with outgoing, extroverted people, and as a strong introvert, sometimes I wonder where my place is. My goal for next week, though, is to be purposeful about including myself in the fun and getting to know these great people I work with.
Another reason I'm really looking forward to Spring Institute is because I'll be taking a class called Pastoral Theology, offered through Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary. I'd like to eventually get my masters' degree, but at this point I'm unsure about the concentration, so I'm taking things slow. But I've gotten to read some great books, and I'm sure I will be receiving some great teaching and have some great conversations over the course of the next week. I'll let you know what I'm up to with my continuing education.

Oh! And I meant to tell you... This girl's birthday was on Monday. Happy Birthday my friend!

Plant Seeds and Sing Songs

2008-04-29T17:47:00.000-07:00

(This was originally posted at my other blog, wkmcconnell.blogspot.com )

My family has always grown things. Every spring, my dad and grandpa would start tilling a huge garden plot for vegetables, and my mom and grandma would start pulling out flower bulbs they had stored or take a trip to the nursery to buy more plants. Spring is the time for growing things! And this spring, I decided to carry on my family's tradition!

I may have gone a little overboard, though... I planted a total of 18 pots of herbs, flowers, and vegetables! After I spent all the time planting them, though, I started worrying that I none of them would grow! I've never really done much gardening on my own before, so I decided that if at least half of the things grew I would be happy. But so far things are coming along great!!! I have sprouts in my dill, chives, 3 of 4 daisy jars, 2 pots of cosmos, thyme, morning glory, cilantro, and 2 baskets of cherry tomatoes. (I was especially excited about the tomatoes because my mom told me that it was really hard to grow tomatoes from seed.) I'm still waiting to see sprouts from 2 varieties of basil, rosemary, and my green pepper pants. The roommate and I will (hopefully) be eating well this summer!

I had been watching them grow for a week or so, and I was SO excited when my first plants began to sprout! I feel such a sense of accomplishment!!! E joked that we were going to have our own little garden out on the balcony... Sounds good to me!!!

ALSO, my African Violet finally started to bloom! Apparently it's normal for African Violets to go through a long period where they don't get any blossoms, so I haven't really paid much attention to the poor little plant. (Plants without flowers or that you can't eat are boring!) But it's getting ready for a magnificent spring!

Plant Seeds and Sing Songs

2008-04-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

My family has always grown things. Every spring, my dad and grandpa would start tilling a huge garden plot for vegetables, and my mom and grandma would start pulling out flower bulbs they had stored or take a trip to the nursery to buy more plants. Spring is the time for growing things! And this spring, I decided to carry on my family's tradition!

I may have gone a little overboard, though... I planted a total of 18 pots of herbs, flowers, and vegetables! After I spent all the time planting them, though, I started worrying that I none of them would grow! I've never really done much gardening on my own before, so I decided that if at least half of the things grew I would be happy. But so far things are coming along great!!! I have sprouts in my dill, chives, 3 of 4 daisy jars, 2 pots of cosmos, thyme, morning glory, cilantro, and 2 baskets of cherry tomatoes. (I was especially excited about the tomatoes because my mom told me that it was really hard to grow tomatoes from seed.) I'm still waiting to see sprouts from 2 varieties of basil, rosemary, and my green pepper pants. The roommate and I will (hopefully) be eating well this summer!

I had been watching them grow for a week or so, and I was SO excited when my first plants began to sprout! I feel such a sense of accomplishment!!! E joked that we were going to have our own little garden out on the balcony... Sounds good to me!!!

ALSO, my African Violet finally started to bloom! Apparently it's normal for African Violets to go through a long period where they don't get any blossoms, so I haven't really paid much attention to the poor little plant. (Plants without flowers or that you can't eat are boring!) But it's getting ready for a magnificent spring!

Just for Today

2008-04-23T06:26:00.000-07:00

by Marjorie Holmes

Oh God, give me grace for this day.
Not for a lifetime, not for next week, not for tomorrow,
just for this day.
Direct my thoughts and bless them.
Direct my work and bless it.
Direct the things I say and give them blessing, too.
Direct and bless everything that I think and speak
and do. So that for this day, just this one
day, I have the gift of grace that comes from
your presence...

The Song is Life

2008-04-15T06:24:00.000-07:00

I am in the process of trying to read through the Bible in one year, in conjunction with my church's One Year Bible Club. I have a dated Bible, and I believe I am currently supposed to be somewhere in 1 Samuel. Unfortunately, I just started Joshua! I'm a little behind. But I will press on!
I know some people think that the Old Testament is boring and tedious and filled with lists of names, and YES, some of it is. But despite that, I really love the Old Testament. There is so much history, and so many great stories about God and the way he works in and for and through his people. Let me share with you what I've been reading from Deuteronomy.

Being a Christian is so hard sometimes! It's hard to be faithful to God in the midst of a corrupt society, and to consistently do the things that we know are right. But God (through Moses) says this to the people of Israel: "Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?" No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it." (Deut 30:11-14) The Word is accessible to us, and even more than that, it is attractive to us! We hear it everywhere: in nature, in other people, and even in song, as Moses refers to it here: 31:19 "Now write down for yourselves this song and teach it to the Israelites and have them sing it, so that it may be a witness for me against them... And when many disasters and difficulties come upon them, this song will testify against them, because it will not be forgotten by their descendants. (Deut 31:19, 21) And the song is LIFE: "Moses came with Joshua son of Nun and spoke all the words of this song in the hearing of the people. When Moses finished reciting all these words to all Israel, he said to them, "Take to heart all the words I have solemnly declared to you this day, so that you may command your children to obey carefully all the words of this law. They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. By them you will live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess."" (Deut 32:44-47)

Isn't that awesome?

I Need You

2008-04-09T08:21:00.000-07:00

Last night at the college fellowship group I help run, we talked about music. I love music! I love singing it and playing it and listening to it. Since becoming friends and then roommates with Elizabeth, my musical repertoire has gotten vastly larger. Whereas my musical roots are mostly contemporary Christian and country, hers are heavy metal, rap, and of course 80s. She has opened me up to a lot of things that I would not have listened to in the past, and hopefully that is a two-way street. Some of it I like a lot, and some of it I can tolerate.
Our main goal last night at Nine.Thirty.Seven. was to give students a taste of the wide variety of Christian music styles there are nowadays. We weren't trying to say that they ought to be listening only to Christian music, but just to give them some options that would be more positive and uplifting than much of the music on the radio today. It can be said of any era that some of the music is really bad, and some is really good! The thing that worries me is how little we think about the music we listen to. Several months ago, John Mayer had a song out called "Waiting on the World to Change." I really like John Mayer's musical style, and initially I really liked that song. But the more I listened to it, the more I felt unsettled. The premise of the song is that the state of the world is very poor, and we would like it to be different, but things are out of our control and so we just have to wait for it to change. This is ridiculous! And it typeifies an American attitude of today, that we should just whine and complain about things being horrible instead of actually doing something about it.
Another song that I've been thinking about recently is called "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance. It's a good song, generally positive and not derogatory, and for a while it was my roommate's ringtone. It is catchy and singable and upbeat. But there's something off about it. The first part of the chorus goes like this:

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone

One part of me really identifies with those lines. I am a very independent person, and I have been from an early age. (Heading out for the bus on my second day of kindergarten, I firmly stated, "I can do it myself, Mom!") I am fairly self-sufficient, and I get a little annoyed when people try to tell me that I can't do things, particularly if it has to do with me being a woman. I take pride in the fact that I know how to do lots of things.
At the same time, though, something about those lines unsettles me. Putting aside my pride in independence, the fact is that I am afraid to walk this world alone. From the beginning of time, human beings were created to be in relationship with one another, and I am not exempt from any of this. I need other people to help me learn things, to keep me accountable, to make me laugh, to tell me when I'm wrong or affirm me when I'm right. The fact is... I need you.
So the next time you hear a song on the radio, take a few moments to think about it. Is it right? Is it wrong? Why? Why not? A little bit of critical thinking has never hurt anybody.

You've Got Something To Say

2008-03-26T06:45:00.000-07:00

My roommate bought the new Matthew West CD. He's a pretty cool dude, and has a great way with words. His latest project is called Something to Say, and this is an idea that I love. I do believe we've all got something to say, because, as Matthew says in the song, "God is love and love speaks through you." I've been watching and discussing Rob Bell's Nooma videos a lot, in my Bible study and campus ministry stuff, and last night we watched the Rhythm video, where Rob talks about God through the metaphor of song. We play a song with our lives, and the question is whether or not we are in tune with God's song. Like Matthew also says, "No one can say it quite like you do."

I've done talks and discussions before on this theme, and it brings to mind another Nooma I watched at Bible study last week. God has created us good, and though we have been corrupted by the Fall and have sinful human natures, I believe we are also inherently good. We believe in the power of Jesus, and he believes in us! Think about who he used to accomplish his work in the first century -- the disciples, the B-team benchwarmers. They changed the world! (From "Dust".)

Here are the lyrics to that song. Enjoy! ~'til next time...

But the whole wide world is waiting for you to step out that door
Come on and let your life be heard today
You've got something to say
If you're living
If you're breathing
You've got something to say
You know if your heart is beating
You've got something to say
And no one can say it like you do
God is love and love speaks through you
You got it, you got it
You've got something to say
Listen up I've got a question here
Would anybody miss you if you disappeared?
Your life is the song that you sing
And the whole wide world is listening
Well the answer to the question is you were created
Your life is a gift
And the lights are shining on you today
You've got something to say

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2008-03-17T15:05:00.000-07:00

I LOVE everything Irish. I think I have enough Irish paraphernalia to decorate a whole room of my house. I have enough Irish-related books to fill a whole bookshelf (or close to). But, despite my Celtic-sounding last name... I am NOT Irish.

At least not as far as I know. My mom's family has researched their genealogical history waay back, and they are quite thoroughly German. To my knowledge, though, no one has traced my dad's family history back very far. It's entirely possible that I might have some Irish in me... But then again I might not!

Despite confusion on my historical blood line, I LOVE Ireland.

When I was in college, I spent a semester studying abroad on the Emerald Isle (spring '04). I fell in love with the history, the culture, the people, the castles, the scenery, the food, the accents, the shopping... I could go on. I busted out my scrapbook today to spend some time reminiscing. (The scrapbook was, by the way, a one-time only thing. Gracious do those things take a lot of time!) If you ever want to hear about my trip, come over and I'd be glad to give you a tour via scrapbook. But until then, here are 10 things that I LOVE about Ireland (in no particular order).

1. Fish and Chips -- a heart attack in a paper bag, doused with another heart-attack's worth of salt and vinegar.

2. Bewley's -- the perfect cup of tea! I learned the art of drinking my tea with milk and sugar in Irleand.

3. St. Patrick's Day Parade -- the most random parade that I have ever seen, complete with dancing polar bears and men on stilts. and lots of drunk people.

4. Trains -- the best form of public transportation.

5. Castles -- and cathedrals, and mountains, and miscellaneous statues... everywhere you look in Ireland there is a statue or a plaque commemorating the historical significance of some particular place.

6. The Bad Ass Cafe -- Ass is not a bad word in Europe, which is why it's so much fun to say!

7. Stella Mew -- my Irish literature professor, who could tell you absolutely everything you ever wanted (or didn't want) to know about William Butler Yeats, right down to the color of underwear he was buried in (not really).

8. Live music in the pub -- every pub, on every corner! The flutes, violins, guitars, bodhrans (drums), etc, best enjoyed with a pint of Guinness. (Guinness, by the way, is disgusting!)

9. Ceili -- Irish dancing. enough said.

10. Canceling class because of a sunny day -- only in Ireland!

Spring Break 2008

2008-03-10T12:57:00.000-07:00

One of the really great things about working in campus ministry is that I still get to celebrate things like Spring Break and a 2-week Christmas break. Last week I went down to Bay St. Louis, MS with a group of 30 from La Roche College. It was an AWESOME week. I have to be honest, I was a little apprehensive about the trip at the start. I only knew 3 of the 18 students who were coming. Along with that, we had four men from my coworker TR's church, the College Activity director from La Roche, and three nuns coming with us. I was really just praying that we would all get along!!! As it turns out, that was the least of my worries. The kids got along with each other really well, and they all bonded with the "old guys." And we would have been NOWHERE without Sister Elena, Sister Rose, and Sister Judy.

Surprisingly, our biggest problem was that we didn't have enough work to do! We spent a lot of time cleaning, one particularly long afternoon picking up trash from along the roadside, and even had a nap or two in the middle of the day. The kids were complaining that they didn't feel like they were working hard enough! They really just wanted to help people. Thankfully, though, by the end of the week, we had some more projects, and I think all of the kids felt fulfilled and that the trip was worthwhile.

Though the trip was through a religious organization (a partnership between our CCO fellowship group and the La Roche Campus Ministry dept.), I don't believe all the kids were religious. I hope that last week we were able to "live Jesus" for them. But I think the most exciting thing was that we were able to really live out community with each other -- community that is not divided by denominations or rituals, community that is able to learn and accept and love.

There are oodles of pictures on Facebook, if you care to take a look. We had great worship, hard workers, and a LOT of laughter! God really blessed us on this spring break trip. Thanks for all your prayers!

Jubilee Reflections

2008-02-27T08:31:00.000-08:00

Just for Janet -- another blog post! On a half-related note, it snowed last night in Pittsburgh -- my favorite kind of snow. The big, fat, fluffy kind that floats gently down out of the sky, piling up and covering everything with a peaceful blanket of white. My roommate described it perfectly when she said "It looks like Narnia outside!" I wanted to take pictures of it, but by the time I got home last night it was late and I just went to bed. Perhaps if the trees outside my apartment are still Narnia-esque when I get home, I'll take some and post them for you.

On Saturday I'll be leaving for another mission trip, this time to Bay St. Louis, MS with 18 college students. I love that students are willing to give up their spring break to go somewhere and do dirty work. Granted, it will be warmer in Mississippi, but I think their main concern is helping people, which is great.

A few weeks ago was the Jubilee Conference, yay! It is an absolutely awesome conference, and I say that not because I am on staff with the CCO, but because it is truly unique in its focus. It's really encouraging to hear other people talk excitedly about what we are doing, too. Not just so that we can toot our own horns, but because we truly believe this is so important.

The main stage speakers included Kelly Monroe Kullberg, Chuck Colson, Donald Miller, and Anthony Bradley. After the conference, Anthony posted the following on his blog about the CCO and the Jubilee Conference:

[Jubilee is] the only conference I know that combines the Biblical narrative of creation-fall- redemption-restoration and living missionally of any college ministry currently embedded on several college campuses. [Students were] meeting together for a weekend to talk about the implications of the the narrative of creation-fall-redemption-restoration for life in this world right now, today. This is unprecedented!!! They get it: creation-fall-redemption-restoration, mission! A passion for piety and the redemption of all of creation. A desire for personal
righteousness AND a desire to fight against evil and social injustice--to be true redeemers of culture.

Anthony also mentions something that is MY favorite part of Jubilee. No matter what your passions or interests are, there is something at Jubilee that addresses it! We, as campus staff people, want our students to understand that their faith should inform EVERY area of their lives. Here's what Anthony had to say:

I especially love that Jubilee demonstrates that the Gospel applies to every area of life in the topics of the seminars, panel discussions, and breakout sessions. Every area--from your identity in Christ to HIV/AIDS and environment. Forgive me for being biased but it seems cultivating a Christian-world-and-life view is the best holistic understanding of what it means to be world Christian.

AND, Jubilee is getting buzz in really cool places! Michael Gerhon was a panelist and breakout session leader this year at Jubilee. He is also a columnist for the Washington Post. He mentions the Jubilee Conference in a recent article in the Post. Read the full article here.

I have seen the future of evangelical Christianity, and it is pierced. And sometimes tattooed. And often has one of those annoying, wispy chin beards.
Those who think of evangelical youths as the training cadre of the religious right would have been shocked at Jubilee 2008, a recent conference of 2,000 college students in Pittsburgh sponsored by the Coalition for Christian Outreach. I was struck by the students' aggressive idealism -- there were booths promoting causes from women's rights to the fight against modern slavery to environmental protection. Judging from the questions I was pounded with, the students are generally pro-life -- but also concerned about poverty and deeply opposed to capital punishment and torture. More than a few came up to me between sessions in anguished uncertainty, unable to consider themselves Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative --
homeless in the stark partisanship of American politics.

Awesome!!! And, believe it or not, the CCO folks and the speakers and presenters aren't the only ones who really like the Jubilee Conference -- the students love it, too! Carine, a senior nursing student from the Republic of Congo, said this after attending the conference:

I have been struggling with a lot of things going on in my life that even question the Love of God. Being in Jubilee, and listening to different messages, helped me renew my commitment to God, and know that He is and will always be there in my life if I let him take control of everything.

Amy is a junior education major who is also very interested in environmental stewardship. She doesn’t feel much support from the campus regarding the ways that Christ calls us to be faithful in all areas of life, including environmentalism. She said this about the Jubilee Conference:

Seeing so many people working to make a difference is so encouraging. It always moves me to tears. At Jubilee, I feel like that's a time to actually hardcore SEE what is being done. College students just like me are making a difference.

Our students are catching the vision of what it means to have their lives transformed by the power of Christ, not only in how they do their devotions or how they treat others, but also in how they work and play and study and create. The Kingdom of God is coming here, now!

Rebuilding Phoenix 2 - photos!

2008-02-08T14:40:00.001-08:00

Here are a few photos of my mission trip to Louisiana. Enjoy!

The front door of the home we worked on.

My assignment for the week: laying tile! Before...

Our finished task!!! Isn't it a lovely room?

Our group, with the contractor we worked with and the woman's house we worked on (Noella is in the middle of the group).

And finally... the infamous RAT DOG!!! Isn't it just the ugliest little thing you've ever seen?

Rebuilding Phoenix

2008-02-06T07:12:00.000-08:00

Last week I had the opportunity to travel to Phoenix, Louisiana for a mission trip with my church. The church I work for is an Evangelical Covenant Church -- a small Swedish denomination with Lutheran similarities. (I don't know much about the church background, actually. For more information, you can check out the Wikipedia article or the Covenant Church website.) Anyway, we went with the Covenant mission organization called Covenant World Relief, and yes, you read right, we were in Phoenix, Louisiana.

Phoenix is a TINY town located 25 miles south of New Orleans, right next to the Mississippi River. As you can see from the map (the pink arrow), it's not located in a very 'safe' spot, particularly when hurricanes are near. CWR, along with a few other mission organizations, has committed to rebuilding this tiny town, which two and a half years later still carries evidence of the destruction Hurricane Katrina caused. Because of its location in between the Mississippi and the gulf/marsh, Phoenix is bordered with two 17 foot levys about 500 yards apart, and so when the wind/rain/floodwaters came, the levys essentially created a giant bowl filled with 17-20 feet of water. And because the water had nowhere else to go, it just sat there until they finally broke one of the levys to drain the water. In a community of only 300 people and 160 homes, only 25 houses were able to be salvaged after the hurricane. Slowly, houses are being rebuilt and the community is being restored.

My team of seven was working on a woman named Noella's home, putting in trim boards, laying tile, painting, and wiring light fixtures. (For your information, I am now an expert tile layer -- available for hire!) The community of Phoenix that existed before the hurricane is still very much alive, even though physically it is still very broken. While we were working, there was a continuous stream of family, friends, and neighbors poking their heads in to see how the house was progressing, asking questions, and taking notes on the building details. One of our favorites was a couple named Donald and Annabelle. Their home was one of the few that was able to be salvaged, and they are slowly rebuilding it themselves, while working and still living in a FEMA trailer on the other side of the Mississippi. But they come back to Phoenix as often as they can, to work on their house and catch up on the community. Though they have no connections to Noella, they expressed so much gratitude for us being down there and helping to rebuild Phoenix. They opened their home to us, fed us dinner (mmm, gumbo!), and insisted that from now on we were to consider them friends. Let me tell you, that is the body of Christ in action!

I have so many more stories I could tell you, and even more pictures I could show you. It's amazing to me the amount of destruction and devastation we saw in our travels -- it's been two and a half years since the hurricane! But thankfully, people are still volunteering to come down and work, and little by little, the area is coming back together.

The first week of March, I have another opportunity to do hurricane relief work. I will be traveling to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi (the red arrow) with a La Roche College spring break team. I'm sure I'll have more stories and pictures to share with you then, as well. Please pray for our team, as we finalize preparations.

Blessings to you all!
PS. If you want to check out the project we were working with, visit www.rebuildingphoenix.com

Tell me what you know...

2008-01-22T14:06:00.000-08:00

My newest favorite musician is a woman named Sara Groves, who has actually been putting out CDs for many years. I discovered her, thanks to the Relevant Podcast, and have fallen in love with the way she interprets the world.

If you think about it, we are all doing this, every single day - in every action we do, we are interpreting the world around us. Some are able to do it through music, some through art, some with words... It is an absolutely essential part of our human nature. Every day we are figuring out how and why we exist in the world, and what our relationship is to the world. How do you interpret it?

With her music, Sara Groves makes beautiful connections to our humanity and God's nature. She tells stories and celebrates people. Music moves me, and some days I wish I had the gift of songwriting. But for now, I will have to simply enjoy the work of others. This is the chorus from my current favorite Sara Groves song, off the CD of the same name (Tell Me What You Know).

Tell me what you know
About God and the world and the human soul
How so much can go wrong
And still there are songs...

I thank the Lord in Heaven that I will always have a song to sing. I praise Him because we will always have songs to sing, despite the presence of so much pain and evil in the world. Through the darkness and desperation, there is hope. People are good. God is just. The world is beautiful. And I will keep on singing.

Tell me what you know...

New Photos, Finally!

2008-01-09T08:06:00.000-08:00

I finally uploaded the pictures on my camera to my computer. For you today: a visual tour of the past couple weeks in the life of Wendy.

For Christmas, my parents surprised me with a new digital camera! Okay, well they didn't exactly "surprise" me with it, since I had asked for it. But it was still a surprise! My mom did a wonderful job of researching and picking a really good one. My first real chance to play with it was on the way up to Chicago for a friend's wedding.

This camera is amazing! It does things that I did not know cameras could do! My favorite features are the macro mode (so you can take really close-up pictures of things) and the color filter mode, pictured left.

Once I got back to Pittsburgh, I spent New Year's Eve downtown, enjoying the First Night festivities. Among other things, we got to see a performance of the Balmore Highlanders (I think?) Scottish bagpipers, drummers, and dancers. It was really cool!!!
Also unique to Pittsburgh is the fact that at midnight, our New Year's ball goes up, not down. I wanted to get a video of it, but my camera was out of memory. Maybe next year!

I've had a lot of fun posting and arranging pictures on my new Flickr account. Initially, I got an account because I really like searching other people's pictures and saving them as "favorites" so that I have someplace to look for inspiration when I'm crafting or painting or writing. After a while, though, I decided that it's only fair for me to post pictures of my own, too! I am by no means a professional photographer, or even a talented amateur. But it makes me happy, and I suppose that's all that really matters! :)

After-Christmas Update

2008-01-05T07:57:00.000-08:00

Well, much to my surprise, my parents got me the first pieces of the Willow Tree Nativity set! I had told my mom about it, but I didn't know that she was actually going to get it for me! I now have the basics of the nativity - the most important parts, really. Joseph and Mary holding baby Jesus, a shepherd, two sheep, and a donkey. I've taken most of my Christmas decorations down already, but I think I'll leave that one up a little while longer...

Speaking of Christmas decorations, the one thing that is STILL up in my apartment is... the Christmas tree! We got a live one, which brought me great joy. The only problem is that no one was home the week before Christmas, and now that it's more than a week after Christmas, the poor thing is extremely dry and brittle. Yesterday I took off the ornaments and garland, but had to stop before I removed the lights because it hurt my hands so much! The floor is getting covered with a good carpet of dried needles. We have been warned, in a missive from the apartment complex, to thoroughly wrap our tree up before transporting it so that we don't get pine needles all over the building. But my mom's solution to the problem is much more fun: our tree is next to the sliding glass door, which leads out to our third-floor balcony. She thinks we should just drop the tree over the balcony, thus removing the need to wrap the tree up at all! I think my mother is a genius.

In related news, the other significant present I got for Christmas was a digital camera!!! My mom makes us give her lists every year at Christmas, and I put a camera down (along with a MacBook) as a joke, not actually expecting to get one. But I did -- and it is amazing!!! That camera does things that I didn't know cameras could do! The day after I got the camera in our belated Christmas celebration I had to drive to Chicago with some friends, and I spent pretty much the whole four hour ride taking pictures of things and fiddling with my new toy. I'd love to show you the pictures, but I'm currently in Panera without my camera and cord, so the next time I'm around I'll definitely let you all in on the new-camera goodness.

Nativity

2007-12-14T08:54:00.000-08:00

In decorating my apartment for Christmas this year, I realized that I have a very small supply of Christmas decorations. This is okay, because I have a small apartment, and so what decorations I do have can adequately fill up the space. Plus we got a sweet live tree, and even though it is sparsely decorated, it is lovely. :)
However, there is one Christmas decoration that I greatly desire to have: a Nativity set. And not just any nativity set, but this one:

The Willow Tree Nativity set, designed by Susan Lordi. I have given other Willow Tree figurines to my mom for various holidays, and I really really like them. This Nativity is just BEAUTIFUL, and I love it. The only problem is that the combined price for the entire set is about $290.00!!!!! Honestly.... That's ridiculous, I know. But I love it. Fortunately, you can buy it in pieces. The plan is to buy one section at a time and eventually get the whole set. (Even better would be to get other people to buy it for me!) I'm anticipating that it will take me 5 or 6 years.

Until then, though, I still really feel like I need a Nativity set for my home (wherever that may be in the next 5 or 6 years). So as an alternative to the complete Willow Tree set, last night I purchased this Nativity Set, much more affordable at $19.99:

Isn't it cute??? AND, if you push the star, Junior the Asparagus sings "O Little Town of Bethlehem." SO CUTE!!!

Well... That's all really. I just wanted to share my excitement with you all. Merry Christmas!

Wherever you are, be all there

2007-12-03T09:19:00.000-08:00

Youth and college ministry is such a roller coaster ride! I struggle with knowing what to do, knowing if I'm having an impact, feeling unappreciated, being frustrated with a lack of involvement, being annoyed at the immaturity of the students, perplexity at the students' desire to just stay where they are instead of growing/changing, and so many other things. I feel like I don't do my job well enough, and that if I were only more dedicated and more disciplined, I would be seeing so many more results. I know these feelings are not limited to people in ministry, but I think that in such an objective field without easily measurable standards, we have to create the standards ourselves and we always set the bar too high.
I've recently come to the realization that youth/college ministry is not where I am "called." I love working in the church, I love the idea of connecting people to God in new and exciting ways, teaching them, and sharing with them the wonderful things that have happened in my life. But there are too many frustrations that I face working with students. I compare myself with my coworkers and see so many places that I fall short. I like the church, but I don't think this is what I'm best at. It would be easy to get caught up in thinking that I only have a year and a half left with the CCO, and excited about my future possibilities.
But I've come to another realization recently. In being unsatisfied with where I am and looking to the future, I am not honoring God where I am. I talk a lot with my students about the future. One of the main concerns with Christian college students is knowing where they are "called" -- the neverending search for that place that God will bless them. We all experience that at some point in our lives. The Christian lingo tells us that we have to find that perfect place that God is calling us to; we have to listen for His voice to tell us where he is leading us. Unfortunately it's rarely that easy. And I think that if finding God's call for our lives is the main driving force of our beings... we are never going to find it. We will always wonder if this is "it," if this job or this place is the best that God has planned for us. We will always be looking for the next best thing even while we try to rely on God's providence.
To truly find that call, though, I think that we need to stop looking for the best perfect thing. God will bless us and use us wherever we are. I am feeling discouraged and unappreciated with my job NOT because this is not where God has called me. I am feeling discouraged and unappreciated because I am not doing MY best to honor him. If we are living to the best of our ability, honoring God in all that we do wherever we are, he will bless us wherever we are. Cheesy and cliche that it is, that old phrase was right -- Wherever you are, be all there.
For now, I am here, in Pittsburgh doing youth and college ministry, and from this point forward I will BE here with my whole heart. No more trying to figure out what I'm "really" called to do. God wants to bless this ministry through me NOW. He's not the kind of God who holds promises of the good life over our heads like a carrot in front of a rabbit. If we bless him, wherever we are, he will bless us as well.

Come and see

2007-11-07T11:02:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at our college fellowship group, Sister Elena shared with us about community. I wasn't sure what she would share; honestly I expected it to be something "same old, same old" because over the years I've heard a lot of teaching about community. Sister Elena is certainly gifted and qualified to teach, and so I suppose it was in a moment of cynicism when I found myself pleasently surprised at what she shared with us.

John 1:35-39
The following day as John stood there agains with two of his disciples, Jesus passed, and John stared hard at him and said, "Look, there is the lamb of God." Hearing this, the two disciples followed Jesus. Jesus turned around, saw them following, and said, "What do you want?" They answered, "Rabbi" - which means teacher - "where do you live?" "Come and see," he replied; so they went and saw where he lived, and stayed with him the rest of the day.

Of all the passages there are in the Bible about community, I had never heard this one before. By Sister Elena's admission,it was both about community and call, but on both counts it was new to me.
First, we see that John acted as a signpost for the other disciples who were with him. Only after he told them that Jesus was the Lamb of God did they leave to follow him. All of us have people in our lives who point us toward God.
Next, Jesus asked them (rather directly, in this translation) what they wanted. In order for him to help them and lead them, he wanted to make sure they were after the right things. And the disciples were on a quest. They didn't stutter or stumble when Jesus asked them what they wanted, they simply told him.
Then, not only did Jesus invite them in, but they stayed with him the rest of the day. They saw Jesus' home and made themselves comfortable in it. In community, the home is an important thing. It's not just a place where you sleep and cook dinner; your home represents a part of who you are. By inviting people (or not inviting certain people) into our homes, we are demonstrating what's important to us.

2007-11-01T13:50:00.000-07:00

The words come and go... Some days I just do not feel eloquent. When inspiration strikes, I love to write! I compose emails and blog entries in my head, long before I am near a computer. But some days I sit there with a blank page before me, and I just cannot summon the effort required to write. It's not that I'm in a bad mood, or depressed, although occasionally that happens. I am a good writer. I like crafting words, arranging them to my liking, drawing readers into my head for a brief time. But without inspiration, I avoid writing much because I know it's bad. So today, good reader, I apologize. I intended to write about a book I'm reading, and talk about how as Christians we are called to be good at whatever we do, and do it with the grace of Christ. But I'm just not feeling the word-flow today. It's taken me a good twenty minutes to write this short paragraph, and so I think I'm going to call it a day. Until the inspiration strikes again...

Burn Us Up

2007-10-16T10:34:00.000-07:00

I have a confession: I love the Old Testament.

Of course I love the New Testament as well. In fact, I love the whole Bible. I love the whole-ness of the Bible, and the fact that the Old Testament and the New Testament are so closely interwoven if you only take the time to look for it.

But I love the Old Testament.

Without any quotable facts for you, I'm going to make an exaggerated guess and say that the majority of people who attend church weekly don't know the Old Testament well, let alone even like the Old Testament. And I understand where they're coming from. I mean, lets face it: there are entire books dedicated to documenting laws and listing names and numbers of the Israelite tribes. I don't know anyone who can sit down and read a book of poetry straight through (Psalms) and judging by the prophets, the people God calls to do his work are downright weird! The Old Testament is an interesting collection. And I love it.

I love the stories. You can find absolutely any kind of story in the Old Testament. Romance? Check. War? Check. Drama? Check. Action? Check. Weird obscure non-classifiable genre? Check. (Ever heard the story about Elijah calling out bears to attack the kids who made fun of his baldness?) To give the briefest summary of the Old Testament, it is the story of God's chosen people and their journey with him. It is the classic "rollercoaster" of belief and unbelief, faithfulness and idolatry. In short, the Old Testament is my story. And your story. And the story of every person who has ever followed the difficult call of God.

That is not a full enough description of why exactly I love the Old Testament. But for now, I think it's been established that I do indeed love it. And along with loving it, I get extremely excited when I find other people who enjoy it as much as I do. For instance... Shane & Shane. I attended a concert Sunday evening, which of course was wonderful. But one of the new songs on their "Pages" CD is called "Burn Us Up," basically a retelling of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace. Without using any of their ridiculous names, they communicate the real meaning behind that story, and the meaning for us today. Go listen to the song. Go read the book of Daniel. And while you're at it, why not the rest of the Old Testament?

"Burn Us Up" Shane & Shane

There were three
Before the king
There were three who wouldn’t bow to him
For when you heard
The music play
And you were standing you would burn.
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

The king enraged
At what they said
Sent the three away to find their death
The palace stopped in unbelief
When the guilty raised their hands to sing
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire!
Won’t You throw us in the fire!

You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction
It’s the declaration of my Lord
You’re not an image of gold
You’re the God of old
You have made us
Come and save us
We are Yours
But even if You don’t, we will burn!

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire!
Won’t You throw us in the fire!

Recent Events

2007-10-12T09:02:00.000-07:00

To celebrate La Roche College's fall break, our ministry group hosted an all-nighter this past Wednesday. We had pizza, saw Transformers on IMAX, played Sardines (hide and seek in the dark), played Nintendo Wii and Donkey Konga, saw the sunrise over the city, and finished up with breakfast at Eat'n'Park! I hadn't really thought about whether I could stay up all night... When I was in high school and college it wasn't an issue! I almost made it through this time, but ended up crashing for two hours right before we left to see the sunrise.

For youth group this Sunday, we're heading up to Grove City College to see Bebo Norman and Shane & Shane play in concert. I'm actually not sure how many youth we will have since it will be a late night! I had thought that we would be home by 10pm, but it turns out there are three bands total, which means that the concert won't finish until 10:30 or 10:45, plus we have an hour to drive back from Grove City. I really want to go, but if it turns out to just be my roommate and I, I'll feel a little bit guilty for labeling it as a "youth" event with no youth!

Tomorrow is the CCO's annual Walk for Racial Harmony. It's taking place at the Pittsburgh Zoo, which means that we get to hang out at the zoo for the rest of the day after the walk! I'm pretty excited; I really like animals and zoos, and I haven't been to the Pittsburgh Zoo yet. Supporting a good cause AND all-day admission to the zoo? I'm there!! I just hope it doesn't rain.

Speaking of the weather, I am SO happy that fall has finally arrived. 90 degree weather in October? That's just wrong. Sweaters and hoodies and scarves and boots... oh joy!!! I'm going to pull my winter clothes out of storage this afternoon, and I am SO excited. Also, I can stop dreading driving anywhere in my car and look forward to my fully-functional heater... (The air conditioner has been broken for two summers now, which makes driving anywhere completely miserable.)

I believe that wraps it up for me now... I'll be sending out my newsletter early next week (once I finish stuffing envelopes!), so look forward to some mail from me (if you're on the list!!).

Ciao...

Hors d'oeuvres

2007-09-16T13:44:00.001-07:00

Tonight will be the third youth group meeting since my last (rather depressing) post. I'm still very excited about what we're doing; coming up with new and creative ideas is a lot of fun. I'm not really sure how I made it through last year... After experiencing such joy preparing lessons and games this past month or so, I know that I mostly just floated through my first year of ministry. Thank goodness God can work through anything (even this crap I've been giving out!)!!!
This week's youth group lesson is about changing perspectives. I feel lucky to have been raised with a Christian worldview because it helps me to make sense of all the craziness that happens in this world every day, and I believe that all Christians should feel this way. Despite the pain that we see around us, we've got an "edge" because we can see the end game. The world's not supposed to be so full of darkness, and someday all of creation will be redeemed. We can offer something to the world around us, we can change people's perspectives and help them to see the beauty and grace that exists instead of only pain.

I was at CCO Staff Seminar on Thursday and Friday of this week, and (as usual) I picked up a few more items from my favorite bookseller. Included was one authored by a CCO staff member, called The Outrageous Idea of Academic Faithfulness. I read through almost the whole thing on Saturday, and it inspired a good portion of my youth group lesson for tonight. Let me share a quote with you:

"In the meantime [after Jesus' redemption of the world
and before the final consummation], we enjoy morsels
of joy and peace. And part of our work is to serve them
about -- like hors d'oeuvres before the banquet."
(Opitz & Melleby, 93)

I love that imagery!! We have this great thing, and we take it and put scary words like 'evangelism' on it and say it's too hard to do, instead of offering the goodness to everyone we meet. Just serve the hors d'oeuvres, people! It's our job!!!

Great ideas are always frustrated.

2007-08-31T08:25:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, we had our fall kickoff for the Youth Group. I've been spending a lot of time brainstorming and planning with my roommate, E, and let me tell you it is SO GREAT doing this with someone! No wonder people get burned out when they try to do ministry alone. We were created for relationships; it makes sense that we can do better work when we utilize those relationships. We've come up with some cool ideas for thinking critically about the culture and finding the truth in the things that we consume every day. A lot of my kids just like things because they are cool or trendy, but they have no idea what the songs or movies or tv shows are really saying. I'm far from thinking that we should remove ourselves from culture just because it isn't 'Christian,' but I want these kids to be able to identify what's good and bad about the culture. Last week I was talking with one of the seniors in the youth group, and she was telling me about a song she really liked called "Minor Prophets." Further probing revealed that she didn't know what the song was about, why it was called "Minor Prophets," or what the minor prophets are.

Anyway. On Sunday we planned a lesson using Acts 17, where Paul speaks to the men of Athens about the 'unknown god,' and quotes their own poets to them, etc. Basically Paul does what I want these kids to be able to do; he uses the things that the people are already familiar with to illustrate and highlight God's truth. Even the junior high kids were making some connections, the high schoolers much more so. BUT... the evening was a complete disaster.

I've always had some minor problems getting the kids to respect me. They like me, and enjoy talking with me and hanging out. But when it comes to discipline, I don't have the parental authority that makes them listen. I have two sisters in the group, one a senior and the other a freshman, and these girls in particular spend a lot of time with me. They are wonderful... but they are the worst about respecting me. They also fight, horribly. They both need to be the center of attention, always, and when they are together their need for attention clashes. I've decided to change the youth group format so that the junior high and high school overlap for an hour, so that I only have to do games and food once instead of twice. On Sunday night, the two girls decided to get into it and it was utter chaos. They were yelling at each other, the older tied the younger one's shoe to a basketball hoop, the younger told the pastor on her older sister, and I was barely holding on. They didn't listen to me, they wouldn't even stay in the area and kept wandering off. It made me look horrible in front of the other kids and the parents who were there to pick up their junior highers. I couldn't concentrate on the lesson because the one girl was incessantly talking about nothing. All in all it was an awful evening. I have to have talks with both of them before youth group again on Sunday, and I am dreading it.

Perhaps what made it so bad was that I was so excited about the lesson, so pumped about this year and what I want to happen with these kids. I was well-prepared and excited and I knew what I was talking about and eager to help the kids make connections. But it seems like every good thing is frustrated... Every time I come up with something great, something horrible happens. Kids fight, or they won't listen, or they just don't show up at all. Days like last Sunday, I wonder why I do this at all.

Down Under?

2007-08-14T17:31:00.000-07:00

Last fall, when I was long-term house-sitting for a family in my church, I discovered that they had a fantastic collection of books. Particularly notable to me were the Harry Potter books, travel writer Bill Bryson, and British novelist Alexander McCall Smith. The Harry Potter books were devoured in about a month, and the others were pushed aside for later. Although I wasn't able to read any of Bryson's books at the time, the name and subject matter stuck in my head. I just finished reading his travelogue of Australia, called "In a Sunburned Country." I think it's a rather impressively-sized book, until I remember that the only place I could get it at the library was in the large-print section.

I really, really liked the book! I don't know why I picked that one out of all Bryson's other books; I have no particular affinity for Australia. But now after reading the book, it is now on my list of places to visit in my lifetime. Since I'm running out of time (Panera closes in 15 minutes and I don't have internet access anywhere else) I will condense my "reasons I like Bill Bryson" into a handy list.

--He has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. (I laughed out loud several times while reading.)
--He has a big vocabulary, and isn't afraid to use it.
--He often combines the two above mentioned items to underhandedly insult waiters and hotel staff where he has had poor service.
--All of his 'favorite' places in Australia were the out-of-the-way, quaint and charming, hidden gems of the country (continent?).
--He is acutely aware of his dorkiness, yet unashamed of it.
--He was able to combine his research about Australia and his travels in it into a funny, charming, and educational book!

Plus, Australia is just a stinking cool country/continent. Go read the book!

Kingdom Whispers

2007-04-23T19:07:00.000-07:00

This weekend, I had the opportunity to return home to Bloomington to speak at the church I grew up in. My parents still attend there, and I am actually still listed as a member (and I think I shall remain so, but that's another subject for another time). So there are lots of strong ties at St. Paul. It was, of course, wonderful to spend some time in Indiana, and the weather was especially good to me. This, as opposed to the Christmas weather, which was most disappointing (cold with no snow!). This visit was particularly rewarding, though, because as I mentioned above I had the opportunity to give the sermon on Sunday morning. The occasion was St. Paul's annual Faith Promise Mission giving Sunday, and before you ask I'll explain, because I really like the way the church approaches their mission giving. Instead of using a portion of the tithes to support various and sundry missions that the church invests in, they designate one weekend a year to collect pledges for 'second-mile giving' - basically, the church commits to support the church with their tithe, and additionally chooses to support missions with whatever they feel led to give above and beyond the ten percent that goes to the church. The goal this year was for $40,000, which people commit to give throughout the year to the missions that the church has chosen. This year, there are nine different local, national, and international missions that they are supporting, one of which happens to be me and my work with the CCO! During the pledge Sunday every year for Faith Promise, they invite someone connected with one of their missions to come and speak. And this year, it was me!

I think the morning went really well! I don't feel 100% enthused about what I said, but that's probably just head trash getting to me. The best part about it was being able to speak to a group of people, many of who watched me grow up, and are now able to see me as a grown woman and as a "missionary." As one of my CCO coworkers said, I'm their star - the little girl who they taught in Sunday School who is now working in ministry. Overall, it was a lot of fun and a blessing to me - hopefully it was for them as well.

One of the things I shared that I am most excited about was the Kingdom of God. Volumes have been written on it, and I won't take the time to offer my limited explanation/understanding of it. But one of the things I mentioned on Sunday morning was that I feel strongly that the Kingdom of God provides us a context in which to do and understand ministry. I am still discovering the Kingdom, and figuring out what it means and how to communicate it to people, but what I'm finding is that it is everywhere! I believe my first introduction to it (that I remember) was in a Biblical Theology class in college. Then, when I came on staff with the CCO, it was a phrase that seemed to be tossed around a lot. My Christmas newsletter to my supporters had a lot of Kingdom-themes in it, and of course I spoke about it to my home church this past weekend. And tonight, I heard it in some lyrics of a favorite song. The Kingdom is everywhere!! Let me share the lyrics with you:

Welcome to the worldwide train wreck
Welcome to the come undone
Welcome to the big rejection
Welcome to the hit and run
Where mercy cries for everyone

Yeah, nothing is as good as it should be
'Cause this is the rehearsal
Yeah, in between the was and the could be
Love is the reversal

I believe we're underwater
I believe the engine's blown
Yeah I believe our secret longings
Tell us that we're not at home
But grace reclaims what the world disowns

Yeah, nothing is as good as it should be
'Cause this is the rehearsal
Yeah, in between the was and the could be
Love is the reversal

Love is the Reversal, by Starfield

The phrase that kept amazing me every time I heard it in the song was "in between what was and what could be." That is it! That is so it. We live in an in-between world, with the darkness of the way the world 'was' after sin and the fall, waiting in anticipation for what 'could be,' what is coming to us with the hope of final restoration. I do ministry for the in between, to participate with God in bringing the light and love of what could be to the darkness of what is now.

And so, with what are perhaps not my most eloquent words, but certainly passionate words, I encourage you all to open your eyes and start looking for the Kingdom - you will find it everywhere.

Facing the Giants

2007-03-21T20:33:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at nine.thirty.seven. (our campus fellowship group), we watched the movie Facing the Giants. You can read the synopsis and watch the trailer here. I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised. In general, I try to stay away from Christian movies, because they always seem to reek of poor acting, over-the-top and in-your-face Bible beating, and cheesiness. Contrary to my expectations, Facing the Giants was a very well-done Christian movie. It was made by a church in Georgia without access to big budgets and sets that Hollywood has, and they did everything (acting, script, sound, filming, etc.) themselves. So on that note, the few predictable and poorly delivered lines can be forgiven. It was also, very clearly, a Christian movie about a Christian high school football team. However, it wasn't a poorly veiled attempt to drag people into the movie theaters and present the Gospel to them. It was an honest portrayal of an average Christian man's life and walk with God. Yes, it did quote scripture. Yes, they prayed a lot. But that was the whole point of the movie. And finally, even on the "cheese" level it was pretty acceptable. (My favorite cheesy line came at the very end of the movie when the wife tells her husband that he's finally made it to "the team --- the daddy team." Yikes.)

However, my biggest problem with the movie was that in the end, everything turned out perfect. They found the dead rat. The coach got a new truck. The soccer player - turned football player finally learns how to kick a field goal. The surly, nonbelieving teammate gives his life to Jesus and restores his relationship with his father. The wife finally gets pregnant. And, the team wins the championship against ridiculous odds. Thus, the moral of the story is, pray to God and he will give you everything your heart desires. What?!?!? I would have been happy if at least one of the story lines hadn't turned out perfectly. But then, later as I was discussing it with a friend, she pointed out to me that happy endings are the whole reason Hollywood exists. Take any random non-christian movie, and you will find the same thing -- everything turns out great in the end. We are so inoculated with the glitter and 'perfection' of Hollywood, it's no wonder we have such a hard time understanding why real life is so hard.

Thoughts on Prayer

2007-03-10T11:51:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a book by Phillip Yancey called Prayer: Does it Make Any Difference? It's a really great exploration of why we pray, and some of the difficulties of prayer, etc. I've begun to realize, though, that reading about prayer only increases my intellectual knowledge about the subject. Improving my prayer life and activity requires something more than research.
I want to become a better pray-er. I read accounts of the great prayer warriors from Christian history, and hear my co-workers talk about prayer groups and meetings, but it just leaves me feeling inadequate and wanting more. I live a good life, serving my God, but that is no substitute for a relationship with Him.
I think my struggles with praying stem from the overarching problem of discipline that lately has kept surfacing in my life. Basically - I don't have discipline, and I need it. To be a better friend, to be a better campus minister, to e a better Christian, to be a better support-raiser, to be a better child of God.
The thing I read most recently in the book that has stuck with me is that when we pray, our minds wander and we get distracted because we aren't really praying for what we want. When we really want something, it's easier to focus our prayer on it than when we are praying for peace in Darfur. But then again, the more we pray, the more our wants and desires will reflect what God is desiring for His people.
I've been giving a lot of advice to people recently to be praying for their struggles, mostly because I don't know what else to say to them. But if I'm not following my own advice, what kind of advice is it?
And with that, I think I'll close this out... and go pray.

Living Lent

2007-02-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

This reflection, by Barbara Cawthorne Crafton, was the devotion I read on Saturday from Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter. It really struck me, so much so that I read it over twice on Saturday and have read it a few times since then. I thought I'd share it with you:

Living Lent
by Barbara Cawthorne Crafton

We didn't even know what moderation was. What it felt like. We didn't just work: we inhaled our jobs, sucked them in, became them. Stayed late, brought work home - it was never enough, though, no matter how much time we put in.
We didn't just smoke: we lit up a cigarette, only to realize that we already had one going in the ashtray.
We ordered things we didn't need from the shiny catalogs that came to our houses: we ordered three times as much as wee could use, and then we ordered three times as much as our children could use.
We didn't just eat: we stuffed ourselves. We had gained only three pounds since the previous year, we told ourselves. Three pounds is not a lot. We had gained about that much in each of the twenty-five years since high school. We did not do the math.
We redid living rooms in which the furniture was not worn out. We threw away clothing that was merely out of style. We drank wine when the label on our prescription said it was dangerous to use alcohol while taking this medication. "They always put that on the label," we told our children when they asked about this. We saw that they were worried. We knew it was because they loved us and needed us. how innocent they were. We hastened to reassure them: "It doesn't really hurt if you're careful."
We felt that it was important to be good to ourselves, and that this meant it was dangerous to tell ourselves no. About anything, ever. Repression of one's desires was an unhealthy thing. I work hard, we told ourselves. I deserve a little treat. We treated ourselves every day.
And if it was dangerous for us to want and not have, it was even more so for our children. They must never know what it is to want something and not have it immediately. It will make them bitter, we told ourselves. So we anticipated their needs and desires. We got them both the doll and the bike. If their grades were good, we got them their own telephones.
There were times, coming into the house from work or waking early when all was quiet, when we felt uneasy about the sense of entitlement that characterized all our days. When we wondered if fevered overwork and excess of appetite were not two sides of the same coin - or rather, two poles between which we madly slalomed. Probably yes, we decided at these times. Suddenly we saw it all clearly: I am driven by my creatures - my schedule, my work, my possessions, my hungers. I do not drive them, they drive me. Probably yes. Certainly yes. This is how it is. We arose and did twenty sit-ups. The next day the moment had passed; we did none.
After moments like that, we were awash in self-contempt. You are weak. Self-indulgent. You are spineless about work and about everything else. You set no limits. You will become ineffective. We bridled at that last bit, drew ourselves up to our full heights, insisted defensively on our competence, on the respect we were due because of all our hard work. We looked for others whose lives were similarly overstuffed; we found them. "This is just the way it is," we said to one another on the train, in the restaurant. "This is modern life. Maybe some people have time to measure things out by teaspoonfuls." Our voices dripped contempt for those people who had such time. We felt oddly defensive, though no one had accused us of anything. But not me. Not anyone who has a life. I work hard. I play hard.
When did the collision between our appetites and the needs of our souls happen? Was there a heart attack? Did we get laid off from work, on of the thousands certified as extraneous? Did a beloved child become a bored stranger, a marriage fall silent and cold? Or, by some exquisite working of God's grace, did we just find the courage to look truth in the eye and, for once, not blink? How did we come to know that we were dying a slow and unacknowledged death? And that the only way back to life was to set all of our packages down and being again, carrying with us only what we really needed?
We travail. We are heavy-laden. Refresh us, O homeless, jobless, possession-less Savior. You came naked, and naked you go. And so it is for us. So it is for all of us.

Something New

2007-02-23T14:28:00.001-08:00

Trying something new... we shall see how it goes!

Ash Wednesday Reflections

2007-02-21T15:12:00.000-08:00

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of the Lent season - 40 days of preparation before Easter. Growing up in the Methodist church, we always had services on Ash Wednesday to mark the beginning of Lent. The Covenant Church (where I work now) doesn't do Ash Wednesday. Today is also my pastor's birthday, so instead of finding a church somewhere with a service, I have to go to his birthday party. Oh well.
My parents taught and encouraged us to give something up as a reminder of Christ's sacrifice for us. During my middle school years, I decided to give up ice cream once or twice for Lent. I have a very striking memory, one Sunday, being absolutely horrified when I realized that I had eaten a milkshake last week after church, subsequently breaking my fast. I like rules, and I don't like breaking them.
As I got older, I remember having conversations with my parents about not only abstaining from something during Lent, but also adopting some practice for those 40 days that would help bring one into closer communion with God. For example, not gossiping or encouraging co-workers or extended quiet time.
We shall see where this Lenten season brings me. What are you expecting?

Not only our lives, but the Gospel as well...

Book List 2012

Oh hey blog.

My head is full of meaningless information.

Risky Business and Me Too

Don't you just love spring?

Deaf

Greater

Would you like some tears with your coffee?

I Surrender All

I bow

pre-Lenten Reflections

The $5 Savings Plan

I love to cook!

inspiration

Hiding

Thankful

Fooood...

Six Things on Sunday

Music makes me cry sometimes

A prayer for a new semester

A Productive Saturday

What is your "Julie & Julia"?

Spiritual Lessons from Gardening

imported...

I'm Incapable

Fully alive and she knows, how to believe in futures.

Tension is a passing note...

Slowly Growing...

Summer Reading List

New Books!

Other Things

Garden, Phase 2

Easter magic

Garden, Phase 1

National Poetry Month

Garden, pre-planning

Start Small

Stars!

Am I in Tune?

Wipe Away Tears

A Word of Advice for Youth Leaders:

Happy New Year

Indiana for Christmas

Advent Preparations

early Christmas

A Thanksgiving Prayer by Samuel F. Pugh

happy faces part 2

happy faces

Why I Love My Alma Mater

Pickles!

Yummy Dinner

Ten on Tuesday

Projects on Hold

Big Cat. Small Box.

Time for a little SALSA!

New home!

Moving...

Have you tried cold-brew coffee?

Student Leadership

Further Adventures in Preserving Herbs

Preserving Herbs

Growing, growing...

Share your life.

Coming Soon: Consistency

About the Anti-Homemaker

Home

Confirmation Sunday

Spring Institute

Plant Seeds and Sing Songs

Plant Seeds and Sing Songs

Just for Today

The Song is Life

I Need You

You've Got Something To Say

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Spring Break 2008

Jubilee Reflections

Rebuilding Phoenix 2 - photos!

Rebuilding Phoenix

A Thanksgiving Prayer
by Samuel F. Pugh