The words come and go... Some days I just do not feel eloquent. When inspiration strikes, I love to write! I compose emails and blog entries in my head, long before I am near a computer. But some days I sit there with a blank page before me, and I just cannot summon the effort required to write. It's not that I'm in a bad mood, or depressed, although occasionally that happens. I am a good writer. I like crafting words, arranging them to my liking, drawing readers into my head for a brief time. But without inspiration, I avoid writing much because I know it's bad. So today, good reader, I apologize. I intended to write about a book I'm reading, and talk about how as Christians we are called to be good at whatever we do, and do it with the grace of Christ. But I'm just not feeling the word-flow today. It's taken me a good twenty minutes to write this short paragraph, and so I think I'm going to call it a day. Until the inspiration strikes again...

Burn Us Up

I have a confession: I love the Old Testament.



Of course I love the New Testament as well. In fact, I love the whole Bible. I love the whole-ness of the Bible, and the fact that the Old Testament and the New Testament are so closely interwoven if you only take the time to look for it.

But I love the Old Testament.


Without any quotable facts for you, I'm going to make an exaggerated guess and say that the majority of people who attend church weekly don't know the Old Testament well, let alone even like the Old Testament. And I understand where they're coming from. I mean, lets face it: there are entire books dedicated to documenting laws and listing names and numbers of the Israelite tribes. I don't know anyone who can sit down and read a book of poetry straight through (Psalms) and judging by the prophets, the people God calls to do his work are downright weird! The Old Testament is an interesting collection. And I love it.

I love the stories. You can find absolutely any kind of story in the Old Testament. Romance? Check. War? Check. Drama? Check. Action? Check. Weird obscure non-classifiable genre? Check. (Ever heard the story about Elijah calling out bears to attack the kids who made fun of his baldness?) To give the briefest summary of the Old Testament, it is the story of God's chosen people and their journey with him. It is the classic "rollercoaster" of belief and unbelief, faithfulness and idolatry. In short, the Old Testament is my story. And your story. And the story of every person who has ever followed the difficult call of God.

That is not a full enough description of why exactly I love the Old Testament. But for now, I think it's been established that I do indeed love it. And along with loving it, I get extremely excited when I find other people who enjoy it as much as I do. For instance... Shane & Shane. I attended a concert Sunday evening, which of course was wonderful. But one of the new songs on their "Pages" CD is called "Burn Us Up," basically a retelling of the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace. Without using any of their ridiculous names, they communicate the real meaning behind that story, and the meaning for us today. Go listen to the song. Go read the book of Daniel. And while you're at it, why not the rest of the Old Testament?

"Burn Us Up" Shane & Shane

There were three
Before the king
There were three who wouldn’t bow to him
For when you heard
The music play
And you were standing you would burn.
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t you burn us in the furnace of your desire!
Won’t you throw us in the fire!

The king enraged
At what they said
Sent the three away to find their death
The palace stopped in unbelief
When the guilty raised their hands to sing
They looked at him and said…

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire!
Won’t You throw us in the fire!

You are able to deliver from the fire of affliction
It’s the declaration of my Lord
You’re not an image of gold
You’re the God of old
You have made us
Come and save us
We are Yours
But even if You don’t, we will burn!

Burn us up! Burn us up! Burn us up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire
We give up! We give up! We give up!
Oh king won’t You burn us in the furnace of Your desire!
Won’t You throw us in the fire!

Recent Events

To celebrate La Roche College's fall break, our ministry group hosted an all-nighter this past Wednesday. We had pizza, saw Transformers on IMAX, played Sardines (hide and seek in the dark), played Nintendo Wii and Donkey Konga, saw the sunrise over the city, and finished up with breakfast at Eat'n'Park! I hadn't really thought about whether I could stay up all night... When I was in high school and college it wasn't an issue! I almost made it through this time, but ended up crashing for two hours right before we left to see the sunrise.

For youth group this Sunday, we're heading up to Grove City College to see Bebo Norman and Shane & Shane play in concert. I'm actually not sure how many youth we will have since it will be a late night! I had thought that we would be home by 10pm, but it turns out there are three bands total, which means that the concert won't finish until 10:30 or 10:45, plus we have an hour to drive back from Grove City. I really want to go, but if it turns out to just be my roommate and I, I'll feel a little bit guilty for labeling it as a "youth" event with no youth!

Tomorrow is the CCO's annual Walk for Racial Harmony. It's taking place at the Pittsburgh Zoo, which means that we get to hang out at the zoo for the rest of the day after the walk! I'm pretty excited; I really like animals and zoos, and I haven't been to the Pittsburgh Zoo yet. Supporting a good cause AND all-day admission to the zoo? I'm there!! I just hope it doesn't rain.

Speaking of the weather, I am SO happy that fall has finally arrived. 90 degree weather in October? That's just wrong. Sweaters and hoodies and scarves and boots... oh joy!!! I'm going to pull my winter clothes out of storage this afternoon, and I am SO excited. Also, I can stop dreading driving anywhere in my car and look forward to my fully-functional heater... (The air conditioner has been broken for two summers now, which makes driving anywhere completely miserable.)

I believe that wraps it up for me now... I'll be sending out my newsletter early next week (once I finish stuffing envelopes!), so look forward to some mail from me (if you're on the list!!).

Ciao...

Hors d'oeuvres

Tonight will be the third youth group meeting since my last (rather depressing) post. I'm still very excited about what we're doing; coming up with new and creative ideas is a lot of fun. I'm not really sure how I made it through last year... After experiencing such joy preparing lessons and games this past month or so, I know that I mostly just floated through my first year of ministry. Thank goodness God can work through anything (even this crap I've been giving out!)!!!
This week's youth group lesson is about changing perspectives. I feel lucky to have been raised with a Christian worldview because it helps me to make sense of all the craziness that happens in this world every day, and I believe that all Christians should feel this way. Despite the pain that we see around us, we've got an "edge" because we can see the end game. The world's not supposed to be so full of darkness, and someday all of creation will be redeemed. We can offer something to the world around us, we can change people's perspectives and help them to see the beauty and grace that exists instead of only pain.

I was at CCO Staff Seminar on Thursday and Friday of this week, and (as usual) I picked up a few more items from my favorite bookseller. Included was one authored by a CCO staff member, called The Outrageous Idea of Academic Faithfulness. I read through almost the whole thing on Saturday, and it inspired a good portion of my youth group lesson for tonight. Let me share a quote with you:

"In the meantime [after Jesus' redemption of the world
and before the final consummation], we enjoy morsels
of joy and peace. And part of our work is to serve them
about -- like hors d'oeuvres before the banquet."
(Opitz & Melleby, 93)

I love that imagery!! We have this great thing, and we take it and put scary words like 'evangelism' on it and say it's too hard to do, instead of offering the goodness to everyone we meet. Just serve the hors d'oeuvres, people! It's our job!!!

Great ideas are always frustrated.

Last Sunday, we had our fall kickoff for the Youth Group. I've been spending a lot of time brainstorming and planning with my roommate, E, and let me tell you it is SO GREAT doing this with someone! No wonder people get burned out when they try to do ministry alone. We were created for relationships; it makes sense that we can do better work when we utilize those relationships. We've come up with some cool ideas for thinking critically about the culture and finding the truth in the things that we consume every day. A lot of my kids just like things because they are cool or trendy, but they have no idea what the songs or movies or tv shows are really saying. I'm far from thinking that we should remove ourselves from culture just because it isn't 'Christian,' but I want these kids to be able to identify what's good and bad about the culture. Last week I was talking with one of the seniors in the youth group, and she was telling me about a song she really liked called "Minor Prophets." Further probing revealed that she didn't know what the song was about, why it was called "Minor Prophets," or what the minor prophets are.

Anyway. On Sunday we planned a lesson using Acts 17, where Paul speaks to the men of Athens about the 'unknown god,' and quotes their own poets to them, etc. Basically Paul does what I want these kids to be able to do; he uses the things that the people are already familiar with to illustrate and highlight God's truth. Even the junior high kids were making some connections, the high schoolers much more so. BUT... the evening was a complete disaster.

I've always had some minor problems getting the kids to respect me. They like me, and enjoy talking with me and hanging out. But when it comes to discipline, I don't have the parental authority that makes them listen. I have two sisters in the group, one a senior and the other a freshman, and these girls in particular spend a lot of time with me. They are wonderful... but they are the worst about respecting me. They also fight, horribly. They both need to be the center of attention, always, and when they are together their need for attention clashes. I've decided to change the youth group format so that the junior high and high school overlap for an hour, so that I only have to do games and food once instead of twice. On Sunday night, the two girls decided to get into it and it was utter chaos. They were yelling at each other, the older tied the younger one's shoe to a basketball hoop, the younger told the pastor on her older sister, and I was barely holding on. They didn't listen to me, they wouldn't even stay in the area and kept wandering off. It made me look horrible in front of the other kids and the parents who were there to pick up their junior highers. I couldn't concentrate on the lesson because the one girl was incessantly talking about nothing. All in all it was an awful evening. I have to have talks with both of them before youth group again on Sunday, and I am dreading it.

Perhaps what made it so bad was that I was so excited about the lesson, so pumped about this year and what I want to happen with these kids. I was well-prepared and excited and I knew what I was talking about and eager to help the kids make connections. But it seems like every good thing is frustrated... Every time I come up with something great, something horrible happens. Kids fight, or they won't listen, or they just don't show up at all. Days like last Sunday, I wonder why I do this at all.

Down Under?

Last fall, when I was long-term house-sitting for a family in my church, I discovered that they had a fantastic collection of books. Particularly notable to me were the Harry Potter books, travel writer Bill Bryson, and British novelist Alexander McCall Smith. The Harry Potter books were devoured in about a month, and the others were pushed aside for later. Although I wasn't able to read any of Bryson's books at the time, the name and subject matter stuck in my head. I just finished reading his travelogue of Australia, called "In a Sunburned Country." I think it's a rather impressively-sized book, until I remember that the only place I could get it at the library was in the large-print section.

I really, really liked the book! I don't know why I picked that one out of all Bryson's other books; I have no particular affinity for Australia. But now after reading the book, it is now on my list of places to visit in my lifetime. Since I'm running out of time (Panera closes in 15 minutes and I don't have internet access anywhere else) I will condense my "reasons I like Bill Bryson" into a handy list.

--He has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor. (I laughed out loud several times while reading.)
--He has a big vocabulary, and isn't afraid to use it.
--He often combines the two above mentioned items to underhandedly insult waiters and hotel staff where he has had poor service.
--All of his 'favorite' places in Australia were the out-of-the-way, quaint and charming, hidden gems of the country (continent?).
--He is acutely aware of his dorkiness, yet unashamed of it.
--He was able to combine his research about Australia and his travels in it into a funny, charming, and educational book!

Plus, Australia is just a stinking cool country/continent. Go read the book!

Kingdom Whispers

This weekend, I had the opportunity to return home to Bloomington to speak at the church I grew up in. My parents still attend there, and I am actually still listed as a member (and I think I shall remain so, but that's another subject for another time). So there are lots of strong ties at St. Paul. It was, of course, wonderful to spend some time in Indiana, and the weather was especially good to me. This, as opposed to the Christmas weather, which was most disappointing (cold with no snow!). This visit was particularly rewarding, though, because as I mentioned above I had the opportunity to give the sermon on Sunday morning. The occasion was St. Paul's annual Faith Promise Mission giving Sunday, and before you ask I'll explain, because I really like the way the church approaches their mission giving. Instead of using a portion of the tithes to support various and sundry missions that the church invests in, they designate one weekend a year to collect pledges for 'second-mile giving' - basically, the church commits to support the church with their tithe, and additionally chooses to support missions with whatever they feel led to give above and beyond the ten percent that goes to the church. The goal this year was for $40,000, which people commit to give throughout the year to the missions that the church has chosen. This year, there are nine different local, national, and international missions that they are supporting, one of which happens to be me and my work with the CCO! During the pledge Sunday every year for Faith Promise, they invite someone connected with one of their missions to come and speak. And this year, it was me!

I think the morning went really well! I don't feel 100% enthused about what I said, but that's probably just head trash getting to me. The best part about it was being able to speak to a group of people, many of who watched me grow up, and are now able to see me as a grown woman and as a "missionary." As one of my CCO coworkers said, I'm their star - the little girl who they taught in Sunday School who is now working in ministry. Overall, it was a lot of fun and a blessing to me - hopefully it was for them as well.

One of the things I shared that I am most excited about was the Kingdom of God. Volumes have been written on it, and I won't take the time to offer my limited explanation/understanding of it. But one of the things I mentioned on Sunday morning was that I feel strongly that the Kingdom of God provides us a context in which to do and understand ministry. I am still discovering the Kingdom, and figuring out what it means and how to communicate it to people, but what I'm finding is that it is everywhere! I believe my first introduction to it (that I remember) was in a Biblical Theology class in college. Then, when I came on staff with the CCO, it was a phrase that seemed to be tossed around a lot. My Christmas newsletter to my supporters had a lot of Kingdom-themes in it, and of course I spoke about it to my home church this past weekend. And tonight, I heard it in some lyrics of a favorite song. The Kingdom is everywhere!! Let me share the lyrics with you:

Welcome to the worldwide train wreck
Welcome to the come undone
Welcome to the big rejection
Welcome to the hit and run
Where mercy cries for everyone

Yeah, nothing is as good as it should be
'Cause this is the rehearsal
Yeah, in between the was and the could be
Love is the reversal

I believe we're underwater
I believe the engine's blown
Yeah I believe our secret longings
Tell us that we're not at home
But grace reclaims what the world disowns

Yeah, nothing is as good as it should be
'Cause this is the rehearsal
Yeah, in between the was and the could be
Love is the reversal

Love is the Reversal, by Starfield

The phrase that kept amazing me every time I heard it in the song was "in between what was and what could be." That is it! That is so it. We live in an in-between world, with the darkness of the way the world 'was' after sin and the fall, waiting in anticipation for what 'could be,' what is coming to us with the hope of final restoration. I do ministry for the in between, to participate with God in bringing the light and love of what could be to the darkness of what is now.

And so, with what are perhaps not my most eloquent words, but certainly passionate words, I encourage you all to open your eyes and start looking for the Kingdom - you will find it everywhere.